Cleveland Browns Peyton Hillis is the NFL's Chuck Norris

Andy BaileyFeatured ColumnistOctober 14, 2010

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As previously noted by yours truly, Peyton Hillis is going to shine even more, now that Jerome Harrison has been shipped off to the Philadelphia Eagles.

So far this year, Hillis has gone for 350 yards and four touchdowns on 76 carries. He also has 20 receptions, a receiving touchdown and 143 receiving yards.

Here are Hillis's numbers for the two games that Jerome Harrison did not play due to injury: 246 yards and two touchdowns on 49 carries, nine receptions for 44 yards.

One of the Bleacher Report's great commenters, a user by the name of Zac Man, recently suggested that Hillis is in fact Chuck Norris in a fat suit (and I'll take this opportunity to replace fat suit with muscle suit).

When Hillis is back to full strength after the Browns' bye in Week 8, I expect him to blast through opposing defenses with stiff arms and lowered shoulders in the same way Chuck Norris blasts through enemy hoards with roundhouse kicks.

He'll collect at least 1,000 yards and 10 touchdowns over those last nine games, and do so in true Norrisian fashion.

Indeed, Chuck Norris may be the only man on the planet who is badder than Hillis.

Here are some not so startling facts about Hillis:

"Peyton Hillis once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got it."

"Peyton Hillis once turned wine into water by stiff-arming it to its base components."

"Peyton Hillis can leave Hotel California."

"When Peyton Hillis jumps into water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Peyton Hillised."


There are many, many more such facts about Hillis.  If you know any, please share with the world in the comments section.