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For Kansas Jayhawks: Any Variation Of "North" Is the New "Candy Man!"

LAWRENCE, KS - SEPTEMBER 19: The Kansas Jayhawks jog onto the field before the game against the Duke Blue Devils on Kivisto Field at Memorial Stadium on September 19, 2009 in Lawrence, Kansas. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
Jamie Squire/Getty Images
John C. Sease, Jr.Correspondent ISeptember 7, 2010

For those of you too young to remember, "Candyman" was a campy horror flick made in 1992.

The premise of the story was a group of kids trying to validate an urban myth that stated the following: If you repeat the "Candyman" name aloud three times in front of a mirror, the "Candyman" would appear from thin air and begin hacking you to death with his hook.

I know, it's pretty moronic, however, it actually had a large enough following that the movie spawned two sequels.

This leads to my modern day horror flick that came to fruition on Saturday as my beloved Kansas Jayhawks battled mighty North Dakota State on the gridiron.

I was pleasantly surprised on Saturday when I realized the Kansas Jayhawks football team was being televised on the east coast during their matchup with North Dakota State.

Being a University of Kansas alumnus, I am always thrilled and giddy with excitement when the Jayhawk games are televised because they are not considered regional games where I reside.

Prior to kickoff, I went to the bathroom.  Before exiting, I looked in the mirror and remembered saying aloud the following: "I still can't believe my Jayhawks lost to frickin' Northern Iowa during the NCAA basketball tournament this past season."  As I walked back in to the room, I uttered the same thought before settling in to watch the game.

As the game progressed, I watched in horror as my Jayhawks were pummeled by a team they were supposed to beat by 30 points.

At that moment, I realized I had summoned the modern day version of the "Candyman" when I was in the bathroom.  You see...I uttered a variation of the the word "North" at least two times and the "North" revealed itself and opened a can of "you-know-what" on the Jayhawks.

Northern Iowa killed the chance of Kansas becoming national basketball champions in the spring.  Now, North Dakota State killed any possibility that Kansas had of dreaming about a bowl appearance in the fall.

With this in mind, I have decided to urge the University of Kansas to drop all schools from their athletic schedules that have any variation of "North."

It is apparent, that the new "Candyman" goes by the moniker "North" and is here to wreak havoc on any Jayhawk squad that dare play him under any circumstance.

To all Jayhawk fans, I can only offer my apologies for summoning the "Candyman"..er...uh...the "North" last Saturday.

Hopefully, KU won't play any schools from this point whereas you need a compass to determine their location.  Under this premise, we could possibly win multiple national championships in many sports.

However, for the aforementioned to happen, fans must avoid mirrors, and avoid uttering the monikers normally found on a weather vane.

Until then...Rock Chalk...go Jayhawks!!!

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