In an extraordinary move, Chelsea FC have thrown out a huge amount, in the region of few billions, to buy the entire history of the world. In the last summer transfer window deadline day, when the whole world was looking in the skies of London to figure out where the flying Dutchman was landing, Chelsea have announced their latest purchase of World History following the purchases of Dark Ages and other biblical periods.
When asked, Roman Abramovich, who was busy having a few shots of Russian vodka, revealed that the club is frantically buying the history to finally stop the scousers' from saying the club has NO history.
Previously, as we know, Chelsea fans and the club have been attacked by the Liverpool supporters for having no history of the club. It seems like Carlo Ancelotti has, finally, shown this to Roman Abramovich which has made him splash out trillions (previously Billions) to buy the History.
So hung up about their abject lack of history, which includes NO European trophy and a lack of global fan base, Roman Abramovich has previously tried to mirror the European nights atmosphere experienced only at Anfield by handing out plastic flags with free Borshch. This effort has, in fact, resulted in more of humiliation rather than any proud as they have been tossed out by Liverpool twice in Champions League.
However, the Chelsea fans seem happy and enjoying what the club has finally got for them.
Just after the 6.00pm mark on transfer deadline day, Mark, club's most loyal and long lasted dribbling supporter has shown his happiness in his words.
He said :
"finally, we can now look the scousers square in the eye and say we've got history. We've bought the league, we've paid millions to create a very basic atmosphere at Stamford Bridge, we've assembled the best team of rapists, drink drivers, flash Harry's and cheating husbands that money can buy and at least we've now bought history. It's a magnificent day for Chelsea football club and I for one am proud of watching my club play since I started supporting them 6-7 years back. "
Liverpool were unavailable to comment as they were too busy laughing at the rentboys and congratulating Joe Cole on the first manly tackle he's ever made and now he's at a proper club like Liverpool.
All staff were busily engaged in the almost endless exercise of polishing the 18 league titles, 5 European Cups, 7 FA Cups, 7 League Cups, 3 UEFA Cups, 3 European Super Cups, 15 Charity Shields and countless other silverware gained from decade after decade of unrivalled success—all of which can be seen in the trophy room at Anfield.
If you're not sure what it looks like, think of the shoe cupboard at Chelsea and multiply that by a factor of 50.
Chelsea fans just don't get it, do they? You can not buy the precious history. That is why they say, Form is temporary and class is permanent.
P.S. This article is a satire. Any harm to the feelings of Chelsea fans is non-intentional and the article is entirely for entertainment purpose only.
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