(Satire) Kane Vs Undertaker @ Night Of Champions Becomes Match Of The Century

Gary JohnsonContributor ISeptember 4, 2010

Ok Bleachaholics!  In case you missed the first part of Night of Champions, let me give you the recap


The Miz(c) def Kaval and Bryan by way of submission.  He then pronounces the U.S Title be called the Internet Championship and he demands to be the IWC hot topic every day he gets on Bleacher Report


Ziggler(c) def Kingston by which ever way he hasn't beat him the last 7 times.


The Hart Dynasty(c) wins their Open Challenge because no other tag team was there to take the offer.


Chris Jericho wins the 6 pack challenge as none of the other competitors want him to leave.  Cena lays down for him and Jericho gets the 1,2,3 count and becomes champ.  


AWESOME!  The Miz runs down with his briefcase and....wait he hands it to Jericho...Jericho is now Mr. MITB????

And no one knows how the divas match went since for the first time ever, everyone in the arena went to the bathroom at the same time.  They heard something about a "Styles Clash" and Melina screaming.  More on the later.


Anyways.....Now to the finale!  The big one!  Two Brothers of destruction are ready to face off against each other.  


Gong!  Gong!  Undertakers music plays.  He gets wheeled out in a casket.  Nevermind that seems to be a wheelchair. The Undertaker coughs.  Signs of things to come?  He tries to walk to the ring but can only go at that slow pace because of his hip. 


Kane's music hits.  Kane walks out and starts that awkward forced laughter all the way to the ring!  This one is going to be insane folks! 


The bell rings.  Taker seems to get the upper hand but then Kane gets his hand on Taker's throat!  Taker grabs Kane's throat!  They both mutally agree to let go of each other.  


Taker goes for Old School!  oops...he slipped on the ropes.  Redo!


Taker goes for Old School!  He hits it and Kane looks shocked because he didn't see it coming!


Taker big boots Kane and looks down at his brother.  He raises his hand...what is he doing????


The audience makes out what Taker is saying and starts going crazy.  Taker says "You can't see me!"


Taker goes for the 5 Demon shuffle!  CONNECTS!  Kane is staggering around.  Taker picks him up for the Tombstone but Taker seems to weak and cannot pick him up.  Kane goes for the chokeslam!  Connects!  Kane does the Taker's slash throat gesture and picks him up for the Tombstone!  Connects!  Kane goes for the pin?  1,2,3!!!  Kane retains the championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Break the Walls Down!"  


Jericho walks out with the briefcase?


Jericho says that he is the best in the world at what he does and he will cash in the RAW MITB on SD because he can.  Everyone is confused.  Jericho continues bitching about it and calling the referee a parasite, finally the ref starts the match!  


Kane still is in shock but grabs Jericho for a chokeslam.  Jericho reverses into a Codebreaker.  1,2,3!  Jericho is now the Undisputed Champion!  


He now unveils a new belt showing the words "Undisputed" with his face and the phrase "Best in the world at what I do".


He raises it and the show goes off air.