Tiger Woods: 10 Reasons His New NYC Bachelor Pad Is a Bad Idea

By (Featured Columnist) on August 31, 2010

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PARAMUS, NJ - AUGUST 29:  Tiger Woods looks on from the fourth green during the final round of The Barclays at the Ridgewood Country Club on August 29, 2010 in Paramus, New Jersey.  (Photo by Hunter Martin/Getty Images)
Hunter Martin/Getty Images

Tiger Woods has a new place in Manhattan. A bachelor pad for when he is in town. A place of your own is never a bad thing. Well almost never.

New York has a booming night life and is a city that never sleeps.

Tiger is a West Coast guy.

This could lead to big troubles for Mr. Woods.

Let us count the ways.

New York Nightlife

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Nothing but clubs and fashion shows, catwalks and celebrities being seen.

Tiger doesn't need any of that if he wants to focus on his golf game.

New York has too much of everything.

The Traffic

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New York City is infamous for their traffic. All the honking and crazy driving.

Woods gets mad if a photographer snaps a shot during his back swing.

What happens when he's trying to relax at a coffee shop and the cabbies are honking and cursing at each other nearby?

The Angry New Yorker

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We all have heard about it... "What are you looking at?" "I'm walking here!"

Those are not stereotypes.

I had to live there for a few months and I was terrified.

Nothing but dirty looks and snide comments as I walked down the street with my "Yankees Suck, Red Sox Rule" t-shirt on.

Those people were frightening.

What chance does a docile and gentle guy like Tiger have there?

Lack of Hot Women

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Where is Tiger going to find a good woman to settle down with in a place like New York?

What if the guy gets lonely?

I mean I'm sure they are somewhere, but how will he know where to look?

Tourists!

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Tiger hates signing autographs. Or at least that's what we're led to believe.

So what happens when he takes a walk through Central park and he is surrounded by these folks?

Will he run?

I would.

No Privacy

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What if the guy wants to go to a, umm, bar and get a drink?

There really isn't anywhere to hide in NYC.

Everywhere you go TMZ and Bleacher Report has some dude hiding in the bushes.

The Cost of Living

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I know you're rich. I get it.

But the ex took a big chunk, I heard.

If you are now on a fixed budget, you couldn't be moving to a worse place.

The restaurants, the bars, the hotels... it's crazy.

Unless you just plan on staying inside your new pad and ordering in, then maybe...

This Guy

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Good luck finding a nice girl in that town that he hasn't been with.

And don't let the rumors of him settling down fool you.

As soon as he hears you live there he's going to put himself right back on the market.

Just like he did to poor A-Rod.

Personally I don't see what the chicks see in him.

He's no big Papi in the looks department.

The Crime

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Crime, Tiger.

As in there is more of it and you can't do it without repercussions.

You were living in Orlando, which was practically a retirement home compared to what you'll see in New York.

And New York's finest don't care who you are, either.

If Tiger thinks he can creep late at night, crash into a couple of hydrants and then run back inside, he has another thing coming.

They don't play that in the Big Apple.

Paparazzi

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Remember how it was right after the incident at the hydrant?

Well that's everyday in the big city.

Welcome to Gotham City, Mr. Woods.

If I were you, I'd get back to LA.

Quick.

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