Georgia Bulldogs: Help Wanted? My Resume Is In The Mail

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Georgia Bulldogs: Help Wanted? My Resume Is In The Mail

Well Dawg Nation, it is almost upon us. The 2010 season is just a few weeks away. I have stayed relatively quiet this summer, and stayed away from much of the banter that has kept the Dawg Nation in conversation.

I know that you have been in very capable hands, and that many fine articles have been placed on this website to keep you informed.

But now I feel it is time to resurface. It is time for me to move forward and give the Dawg Nation hope for the future.

So today I am here to let UGA President, Michael Adams know that my resume is in the mail. 

Yes fellow Dawg fans, I plan to be the next Athletic Director at the University of Georgia.

I had not intended to apply. I was sure that there must be very capable people in place at Georgia that could step in. But after seeing that the University had placed an on-line ad for the job, I realized (corrected spelling to improve my chances) that I must be wrong.

As I move ahead with this bold career move, I must tell you that I will need your support. I cannot do this alone.

The support of the Bulldog community will be needed now, more than ever.

Some people may ask why. Why would you leave the comfort of a job that you have held for years to take on such a high pressure job?

The answer is simple Dawg fans. My love for the Red and the Black super-cede any need for the comfort and tranquility of a quiet life.

So as I ask for your support, I leave you with these promises.

As the new Athletic Director at the University of Georgia I pledge:

  • To attend every Bulldog football game in every season that I hold the position. It will be a burden, but I feel I must bear it.
  • To go on the road with every sports program at the University that feels it needs the presence of the AD in attendance. This shall include all sports... Baseball, Football, Golf, Tennis, Volleyball and Basketball. Please note: a "sport" will be defined as an activity where a "ball" is used. I will be happy to send an assitant to the other "sporting" events.
  •  I pledge to check on UGA VIII before and after every game, to make sure that he is feeling well.
  • I pledge to seek out all rude fans that know little or nothing about the game they are watching and have them forcibly (if needed) removed.
  • I pledge to spike the gatorade on the Gators sideline, thus increasing the Dawgs chances of winning.
  • I pledge to "take a moment of their time" and speak to the football team before they play Vandy and Kentucky, reminding them that these game counts too. Just in case someone else didn't do it.
  • I pledge to make faces at any Georgia Tech official that is being interviewed on camera. I will stand behind them so that all can see what nerds they are.
  • I pledge to use my expense account liberally to make sure no Dawg fan goes hungry during a game.
  • I pledge to lower ticket prices, and threaten to revoke ticket privledges to those who don't stand up on third and long.
  • I pledge to find out Lane Kiffin's cell number and send it out as a mass twitter. Why? Just because he is still so easy to dislike.
  • I pledge to mock Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, and Les Miles every chance I get.
  • Finally, I pledge to never get pulled over by the police with a woman who is not my wife, with her.... well, you know.

So there you have it Dawg fans. I may not be the most qualified candidate for the job. But I am the best choice.

After all, I have played fantasy baseball and football for years. How much harder could this job be?

Feel free to post your questions. I will do my best to answer them.

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