FORT WORTH, TEJAS by Dr. Diz
Baseball’s halfway around the track. Figured it’s time to look at some of the whoopsie-daisy moments that have occurred so far…
The James Michael Curley (vote often and early) award goes to the fans of the Saint Louis Cardinals , who managed to stuff enough ballots to get Yadier Molina selected as the starting catcher in the All-Star game. Molina’s batting .222 and has a whopping 3 HRs. Miguel Olivio of Colorado deserved the start (.317, 11 HR, 41 RBI’s) but, hey, mistakes are made.
Just another Redbird All-Star backstop...
The Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in Bankruptcy Court award goes to GM Wayne Cashman and the Yankees who thought they could hornswaggle Cliff Lee from the Seattle Mariners…only to have the bankrupt Texas Rangers steal him out from under him.
Cashman, whose deal to the Mariners centered around a defensively challenged catcher who is batting .254 in triple A, said "you just don't do business that way."
Gee, I guess if Seattle is not careful , the Yankees will stop offering their over-hyped prospects to them.
The beauty of the whole episode is that one of the primary things that drove the Rangers into dire financial straits was a contract for a certain roid-boy that they are still paying on, who is currently wearing pinstripes. Whoops.
The stars at night, are big an' bright....
The Jimmy Piersall award goes to that same crack management team up in Seattle , who must have been sampling some BC kind bud when they offered professional nut job Milton Bradley a fat contract.
Uncle Milty promptly had a big ol’ meltdown. Sorry ‘bout that.
The Ollie the Optimist award goes to all the Met’s fans who were predicting a “lost season”, “.500 ball at best”, and other such fortunes for their team.
Ummm…yeah, guess they were a bit hard on the Orange and Blue , eh? But it's fun out there on the right coast to be all gloomy, grumpy and glum I guess.
Always a crowd pleaser, the Biggest Jerk Sports Fan award goes once again to the Phillies , who had a guy named Matt Clemmens intentionally puke on another fan at the game. Nice.
Wonder if he ate at Pat’s or Geno’s beforehand? Betcha he wants a do over on that one.
Guess I shoulda held on those extra onions....
Baseball commissioner Bud Selig once again gets the dual Boss Tweed/Soccer Mom award for his policy of having every team be represented in the All-Star game.
Even if they suck , and really don’t deserve to have a player named.
Just like old Tammany Hall , Bud's trying to spread around the spoils…and just like little league soccer futbol , he’s trying to make sure “everyone’s a winner .”
Who wants to see the best players…we would rather have a watered down version as long as everyone is represented, right? (Jeezze, I thought we won that argument with the commies a while ago when the wall came down.)
So score a big E for Bud on that one and drive him outta here in a Chevy Suburban , or some other soccar futbol mom gas guzzlin' Sherman tank sized vehicle ("It makes me feel so safe").
Yup...we all think Ty Wigginton is a great All-Star...lets go O's
And hat's off to the California Angels who live in Anaheim but kinda sorta wish they were in LA for giving up on Bad Vlad Guerrero .
Vlad has been pounding the living snot out of the ball this year for the Rangers. Award a big Bozo No-No to the halo's for that.
Well...mistakes are made
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