Manny Ramirez Goes Deep, Walks Around Bases

Much has been made of the recent news that Manny Ramirez is "tired" of playing for the Red Sox, and would not hinder a trade should the team decide to move him.

Saturday afternoon against the Yankees, Manny tried to add fuel to the fire.

In the bottom of the fourth, Man-Ram came up and promptly launched a 446-foot moon shot deep into the centerfield bleachers at Fenway Park.

"Once he hit it, he just stood at home plate and watched it fly with his arms straight up," said Yankees skipper Joe Girardi, while waiting for his daily angry, inexplicable phone call from Hank Steinbrenner. "I'm fairly certain that he didn't even move until the ball landed."

Once the ball finally came down, Ramirez proceeded to walk the entire 360 feet around the base path.

The official scorer at Fenway clocked that it took Ramirez nearly three and a half minutes to finish his trip around the diamond.

"I've called hundreds of games with Manny involved, and that's how long he usually takes to round the bases anyway, even if he's 'running,'" said home plate umpire, Tim McClelland, while inspecting shattered bats for cork. "To be honest, I didn't even notice he happened to be walking this time."

Some of his teammates seemed unfazed by Manny's latest stunt.

"That's just Manny being Manny," said first baseman Kevin Youkilis, while waxing his head and sculpting his beard, simultaneously. 

Initially, the Red Sox fans went nuts as the ball was flying out of the ballpark. 

Once Manny's voyage around the bases started dragging on, thousands of fans got up to take bathroom breaks and get concessions.

"I've never seen anything like that," said FOX color commentator Tim McCarver, while coloring in his newest coloring book. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy."

Yankees' starting pitcher Andy Pettitte even started to throw warm-up pitches in the meantime. 

"The HGH only lasts so long, I was running out of juice," said Pettitte, just before his lawyer came rushing over, shouting. "He was wasting my time out there."

When asked what he was thinking, Ramirez was a man of few words, as usual.

"You see the thing about this is-wait, what's that over there?" said Ramirez, pointing towards the locker room door.

He then stood up, and walked right out the door without saying another word.

That’s just Manny being Manny.