Thomas Brown: I Am The Greatest

Let me first start off by saying that this article is not meant to be cocky or anything, it is just meant to state the facts as I see it.  It is merely my opinion, nevertheless many people agree with it, but it is still my opinion nonetheless.

The picture above is not of me.  But I wish it was.  That is Thomas Brown of the Georgia Bulldogs.  Or at least he used to be.  He's probably writing under some alias for Bleacher Report now.

Sometimes I sit back with my hands in my pockets on Sunday afternoons and imagine my life on another planet.  Yet it always somehow comes back to this one.  The reality of the situation is that there is nothing better than living the life that I have been given on this planet that we humans so endearingly label Earth.

Once I am beyond that moment, I think to myself about the great accomplishments I have gained in my lifetime.  The list is quite expansive.  I was the co-MVP of my under-45 fastpitch softball league.  That's the first thing that comes to mind.

One of the other things that I think of as the great accomplishments of my life is me being born.  I earned a 1.4 GPA at a small public school in Atlanta.  Needless to say, that gained me admittance into the University of Arkansas.

I spent some of my finest days there.  When I was a junior, I even ventured out to my first event.  I never had left my dormitory my first couple years, out of fear that my skin might peel and render me hopeless to transport myself to the classes I needed to take. 

I was amazed that despite the fact I did not ever go to class I still earned a 4.0 GPA at Arkansas, and that's without ever even going to the final exams!

Secondly, I have accomplished great things in my personal life.  Despite the fact that I have not yet married, I have come close several times.  There have been AT LEAST two different girls that have entered my life and I have dated for over a couple of weeks.

I am not quite sure how many relationships most people have before they are married, but to my knowledge, not many more than two is the norm.  I am positive that my love life is comparable to the greats such as Lee Trevino and Brad Pitt.

Thirdly, my work life has experienced similar success.  There is not much in my life that I can look back on and say I didn't do it perfectly.  I admire people like Drew Bledsoe who can so lovingly progress through the sands of time and revel in all their talents.

When I hit the heavy streets of the Bull Market in the 1970's, there was nothing but hope and fortune to turn my way.  As I walked the great streets of Wall Street, nothing stood in my path. 

I carried up the ranks until I made head janitor at Merrill Lynch.  My life up to this point has been perfect.

Perfect, that is, until I looked at the writer rankings on the college football page.  I was unlisted.  Not to brag, but I am one of the best writers that I have ever seen write on this site.

The amount of greatness surges out of my pores as I express my feelings in a way comparable to J.K. Rowling.

This sight came much to my dismay, as I had long dreamed of becoming a famous hero on Bleacher Report.  Now, there's not much I can say or do without a tear coming to my eye.

I resort to writing poetry and the tears that drown my sorrows of not being a top writer.  If only one day I wish I could be on that list.

I will continue to work hard, as this is my dream.  I don't care if I am listed as the 40th writer. I just want to be on that list and will do anything to do so.

If that requires writing day and night, then so be it!

If that requires me quitting my job and only writing, then so be it!

If that requires me to cut off all relationships both in my First Life and in the Second Life game, then so be it!

I will write and they will come!