The Week That Was: Fury Unleashed As Darkness Falls

"In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey. The monkey will spank us!"

When Jason Mewes said these infamous words in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," who would have thought that they would mean so much right now? Their meaning reigned supreme as the monkeys decided to run the jungles of the squared circle this week.

And here's the sign that things are just starting to get interesting.

WWE RAW: Anarchy Continues on the Flagship

Monday’s broadcast opened with the arrival of a furious Animal. After Kane cost him his shot at the World Heavyweight Championship, Batista took control of the inmate-run RAW and made one match: CM Punk vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship. Despite JBL’s obsession with power, CM Punk accepted the match for later on tonight. But by the end of the night, it wouldn’t be the Big Red Machine costing him on this night.

It would be the Longhorn Loudmouth.

As Batista looked to go in for the kill, JBL sprinted down to the ring and attacked Batista, causing the disqualification. As JBL tried to exhort his power, a vengeance minded John Cena ran down and got him some of Layfield. But thanks to a poke in the eye, JBL managed to duck the parting shot. In the end, Batista was left fighting Cena and the refs. But tomorrow night, when RAW hits the airwaves, JBL might be given a permanent mute as the Boss’s son Shane McMahon will be on RAW.

ECW: Doors Close…Doors Open. Simple as That

When ECW went on the air last Tuesday night, an arrogant ECW Champion came to the ring to receive the new ECW Championship. With a revised look of black gold, Mark Henry sat back as the man responsible for the continuation of his reign Colin Delaney got decimated by Tommy Dreamer and a #1 Contender emerged from the ashes of the Fatal Four Way.

Now with Summerslam less a month away, the man who lost the United States Championship at The Bash, Matt Hardy, now has a chance to win his first World Championship in his illustrious career. But it’s clear that the deck is stacked against him when you’ve got The World’s Strongest Man and one half of the first ever African American Tag Team Champions standing in your way.

TNA IMPACT!: Nothing is what it seems in the IMPACT! Zone

IMPACT! saw the questions get bigger, the answers get more confusing and one tenacious champion show some skills. The war between Samoa Joe and Booker T took an interesting turn as both men raised the stakes for their TNA World Championship match at Hard Justice. After Samoa Joe decided on having it in the Six Sides of Steel, Booker T decided to add some serious hardware (tables, ladders and chairs).

But before he could accept the challenge of the #1 Contender, the lights went out, and Sting’s music filled the IMPACT! Zone. When the lights came back on, Booker T stood over a motionless Samoa Joe wielding Sting’s trademark black baseball bat. With two weeks passed since Sting’s assault on Joe, people are left wondering when The Icon will come and explain his actions at Victory Road.

But on the lighter (and funnier) side of IMPACT!, Taylor Wilde had her first title defense since her match with Awesome Kong. What she didn’t know was that she would have a lot of exercise on this night. After setting a record with the quickest pinfall in TNA History (Four Seconds), Wilde’s opponent Velvet Sky whined like a teenager for a rematch. It took 20 seconds the second time around for Wilde to beat Sky. But Sky’s partner Angelina Love made it clear that she couldn’t do it again and put up a $5000 wager.

So in the third match, Wilde had Sky set up for her third straight defeat, but Love came in and attacked the Knockouts Champion. But thanks to Gail Kim and ODB, Wilde managed to stave off the assault. But this Thursday, she has a tag match with three women who all want what she’s got as Wilde and Kim face The Beautiful People on IMPACT!

WWE SmackDown!: An Ultimate Surprise leaves a Dead Man Walking…and Resurrected

Edge was World Champion and got a shot at the WWE Champion because of his relationship with SD! General Manager Vickie Guerrero. Last week, he was caught trying a new submission hold on Alicia Fox. Then on Sunday, he inadvertently speared his wife. This past Friday, Edge was hoping for absolute resolution…and at the same time keeping his affair with Fox a secret.

But when Vickie made it to the ring, he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.

But before Vickie could drop the ultimate bombshell, she had to find a new #1 Contender to face Triple H for the WWE Championship at Summerslam. In the Biggest Blockbuster of the Summer Battle Royal, Jeff Hardy put up a damn good fight as he was able to eliminate the Big Show. But it was The Great Khali who earned the opportunity to be next to play The Game.

When the two men had a face to face encounter, Khali’s handler, Ranjin Singh held his monster back from the fight. Despite the joking that Khali and Triple H did last year during the second coming of DX, all jokes will be put aside when these two wrestling giants lock up at Summerslam.

Turning back to the big moment of the night, Vickie and Edge met in the ring to find a solution to the issues between them. After Edge tried his hardest to get back in the good graces of his wife, Vickie made it clear that “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” In the process, she informed her beloved husband that she did something that he might not like. When pried, she informed him that she reinstated The Undertaker.

As Edge tried to con his way out of a confrontation with the returning Deadman, Vickie made it clear that she already placed The Phenom in a match at Summerslam. When he pried some more about who he would face, Edge was told that it would indeed be him that would face his old nemesis. Edge tried to back down from the announcement, but the final twist came when she told him the match they would have: Hell in a Cell! As Edge fell to the mat in shock, his scorned bride let out a boisterous cackle to her disheveled husband.

That’s the news from the squared circle. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.