NASCAR Announces New Retrictor Racing Shoe (Satire)
NASCAR issued a new technical bulletin today announcing the invention and introduction of the new “Restrictor Racing Shoe” in all three of NASCAR’s major series:
“At all racing events, unless otherwise specified, all drivers with the first name "Kyle" and the last name "Busch" will be required to wear the new "Restrictor Racing Shoe" at all race events.
"The "Restrictor Racing Shoe" includes twin ankle straps required to attach to the foot of the driver that has kicked everyone’s butts in NASCAR races this season preventing application of force to the accelerator pedal. This new racing shoe will be issued by NASCAR prior to each racing event with application made by authorized NASCAR personnel only!
"Tampering with the "Restrictor Racing Shoe" by unauthorized team members or the driver himself will result in the elimination of that driver from the event."
“Eventually all teams will upgrade their driver talent and their drivers may or may not be subject to this new "Restrictor Racing Shoe" in the future,” said NASCAR Vice President of Competition Robin Pemberton.
“Over the years NASCAR has gone to great lengths to maintain a level playing field in the sport and we will continue to do so. The R&D Centeris working on the new "Kyle Racing Blindfold" and might roll out that device if the domination continues after the roll out of the "Restrictor Racing Shoe" at NASCAR events this week in Indianapolis.”
Is the above what is coming next? Isn’t racing about building the best car and then going out and racing each other as hard as you can with the most talented team winning? Perhaps what we need to consider is a new strategy to NASCAR racing.
Instead of having just one winner, maybe we should have all cars finish 43-wide in the final lap and give everyone a trophy! So what if television will have to increase their post-race coverage to an hour to handle all 43 Victory Lanecelebrations…this is all about being fair to everyone involved!
Let’s give them all competition ribbons so we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings!
NASCAR says they want to maintain an even playing field, and that should be the goal, but not in mid-season. If a team works harder than the competition, such as Hendrick Motorsports did last year in the Cup, then that team deserves to win.
If Toyota is so strong, then when NASCAR took ten engines, why didn’t Toyota have the top engines across the board? NASCAR won’t release the information, but the winning car didn’t have the best engine, according to the dyno.
Two of the Roush-Yates engines were among the top engines, but Ford didn’t get a rules change.
Teams work well in advance to prepare their cars for the upcoming week. NASCAR usually announces rule changes a few weeks in advance to give teams time to prepare. This time they shoved the change down Toyota’s collective throats less than a week before the big race, and after the haulers and engines have been loaded on the haulers.
Wouldn’t it be funny if Kyle Busch and/or the No. 20 car continued to kick everyone’s butts? Joe Gibbs Racing will find a way to make up the difference, but the other Toyota teams will not.
NASCAR usually does a great job officiating a tough sport to officiate. This time around they blew it!
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