Michelle Wie: Please Sign On The Dotted Line?

I play golf. It relaxes me, and I enjoy the social aspects of the sport.

As a "weekend duffer," I don't play competitively, but know the rules of the game, for the most part.

I can kick some #$# on an executive golf course. My long game stinks, but on a 3- or 4-par course, I am a real tiger—and a stickler for following the rules.

So imagine my surprise when this last weekend, Michelle Wie was disqualified from a tournament because of an infraction.

Not just any infraction, mind you, but the most basic and well-known infraction known in golf: not signing off on your scorecard.

How many times have you watched a major tournament and after the 18th hole, the winner goes into the tent to turn in his or her scorecard?

The golf sportscasters tell us, "And right now, Phil Mickelson is checking his scorecard two or three times, making sure every t is crossed and every i is dotted, and putting his John Hancock on the card to verify his round."

Most non-golf fans know this rule, don't they?

After Saturday's third round in the LPGA State Farm Classic, Wie left the tent without signing her card. Some volunteers noticed her error and chased her down to ask her to come back and sign the card.

Wie returned to the tent and complied. But apparently, she had left the roped-off area around the tent when the volunteers had caught up with her, and once you leave that area, you are done with official business.

This is the second time Wie has been disqualified from a tournament. She also made an illegal drop in 2005 that cost her from finishing her first tournament as a pro.

Here's what I want to know: Why did Wie cry like a 2-year-old when told of her disqualification the next day? She is playing with professionals, isn't she?

Moreover, how come some volunteers know the rules, and she doesn't?

Not signing your card is the equivalent of whiffing a ball, and then not counting it.

It's so basic a rule, so ingrained in every golfer, whether casual or pro, you have to wonder just how professional Wie really is. The crying made it hard to defend her professionalism.

She has been the beneficiary of countless PGA exemptions from her biggest sponsor, SONY, to gain admittance into a PGA tournament. She certainly hasn't earned them.

Sure she is being used, but she is allowing this dog and pony show to continue.

Over a year ago, she embarrassed herself and most golf fans when she dropped out of the Ginn Tribute in South Carolina due to "injury."

She had a 14-over-par score after 16 holes, and the way things were going, she was in reach of spanking out an 88, which is 16 over par.

Any non-LPGA member who scores an 88 is automatically banned from LPGA tourneys for a year.

So of course, Wie drops out of the tourney. Her manager, Greg Nared, was using a cell phone on the course to clarify the 88 rule when she got to 12 over- before teeing up at the 17th hole due to "injury."

Nobody is allowed to use a cell phone during an LPGA or PGA event, by the way.

Two days later, she shows up at Bulle Rock to get ready for the LPGA Championship.

It's a miraculous recovery, even though she finished dead last in Bulle Rock.

But the word is out, the vultures are circling, and the hyenas are waiting.

Michelle, you have a beautiful swing, but you can't grasp the rules, don't have a caddy well-versed enough in rules to save you, and most importantly, don't have the mental fortitude to play with the guys.

Or the girls.

Some times, a beautiful stroke isn't enough. Nor a beautiful swing. Just ask John Daly.

Some times, it's better to just enjoy the beautiful Palo Alto campus of Stanford and quit trying to please your nightmare of a father than go out and make a fool of yourself.

Some times, the writing is on the wall, and trying to erase it over and over again does not make it not true.

In the world of sport, talent alone is not enough. Especially in a mental game such as golf.

Clearly, Wie is not able to handle the pressure.

Nor sign on the dotted line.

And suddenly, the three most beautiful words in any parent's language may save Wie from more embarrassment.

Back to school.