The Second Half: NL Predictions in 10 Words or Less

After enduring a whole 24 hours without live sports, the MLB season thankfully resumes tonight, with four games on the slate.

We're about 60 percent through the season, and four of the six division leaders are clinging onto first place by 1.5 games or less, making for what should be a tense playoff stretch.

In a moment of ambition, I was going to write a long and detailed preview and prediction post for all 30 teams. But nobody wants to slog through a bunch of stuff they already know, along with some hack predictions.

So, I figure, why use 10 paragraphs when all we really need about a team is 10 words? If you want 1,500 rambling words that finally come to what is usually a wrong conclusion, you can go read Bill Simmons or S.A.S.

Here, we try to streamline our wrong conclusions to maximize efficiency. And laziness. 30 teams, 10 words each. NL goes first.  

Arizona Diamondbacks

Need to stop choking. Haren steps up, barely win division.  

Atlanta Braves

Texeira traded, Hampton returns, gets hurt. Rinse. Repeat. $121 million.  

Chicago Cubs

Soriano's return makes lineup very scary, win Central by three . 

Cincinnati Reds

Volquez falters, but young team primed for breakout in '09.  

Colorado Rockies

God's team makes a run, but no miracles this year.  

Florida Marlins

Ramirez is a star, but can't win East by himself.  

Houston Astros

Too bad Berkman can't pitch, still takes MVP over Utley.  

LA Dodgers

Torre is stubborn, Jones and Pierre somehow still starters. Guhh. 

Milwaukee Brewers

Fat One leads them to promised land, NL Wild Card. 

New York Mets

Can't make a deadline deal. Massive injuries, Wagner still terrible.  

Philadelphia Phillies

Howard finishes with 52, but Utley carries them into playoffs.  

Pittsburgh Pirates

Most underrated ML outfield broken up as Pirates rebuild... again.  

St. Louis Cardinals

Healthy Cards stick around, but NL Central is too good.  

San Diego Padres

What a mess. Adrian Gonzalez draws up an escape plan.  

San Francisco Giants

Good: Zito does not lose 20. Bad: He loses 18.  

Washington Nationals

Owner forced to pay rent, FBI investigates Bowden. Franchise fails.