Forget Bobby Lane: Meet The Real Reason

     Hello. My name is Dustin Allen. I'm the fan version of a broken mirror. As a life long lions fan, I have begun to feel responsible for the state of the franchise. It's not just the Lions though, it's any football team I want to win.

Exhibit One: Super Bowl XXV-XXVIII

    Super Bowl XXV...The first memory I have of a Super Bowl, where I really wanted one team to win over another. I loved the Bills. I was a huge Thurman Thomas fan and nothing could have make me happier than for the Buffalo to win that game. That alone was the teams greatest downfall. Don't blame Scott Norwood, blame me. I wanted that kick to go through, more than anything. I tried to will it through the uprights...only to hook it.

    I liked the Bills so much I rooted for them for the next three Super Bowls all well. Thurman's missing helmet? You're off the hook Harry Connick Jr, that was my fault too.  I cannot begin to apologize enough to the city of Buffalo. To this day I am fearful to visit as I'm sure word of my doings has spread. I envision that in sports bars and taverns around the city Bills fans shake their fists in the air and curse the day Dustin Allen ever rooted for the Bills. For what it's worth, I'm sorry Thurman.

Exhibit Two: Super Bowl XXVIII-XVIV

     I will keep this short. During this stretch of 16 games, I only rooted for the winner twice. The Denver Broncos in 1998 and 1999. Those games were destiny, and even I couldn't mess them up. So that gives me a record of 2-14 over this stretch.  A very lion-esque record don't you think? If we take into account the Buffalo Saga, it jumps to 2-18. I'm sure by now you are seeing a pattern develop.  Now on to the big one.

Exhibit Three: The Detroit Lions

     I have been a Lions fan as long as I can remember. I was born in April, just before the 1979 season. The teams record that season? Two and fourteen. The season before, seven and nine. The season after? nine and seven. This negative spike was surely omen of things to come.  I freely admit that the Lions have had some "good" seasons, even making the playoffs at the conclusion of some. Don't let this fool you into thinking that I am exaggerating my effect on the team, it is very real trust me.

   I thought hiring Millen was a good move at the time, a bold move, but a good one. I feel bad for him at times. I always wanted him to succeed and in doing so I nearly destroyed him and my Lions. Much like in Buffalo, I am the real reason for the downward spiral of the franchise. For that Detroit I am sorry. I will be visiting during the second week of May, so if you would like to organize a public stoning, I think I owe it to you to show up.

Closing: Guilty

     I used to be in denial about it, however now it is clear.  My justification was the fact that as a Lions fan I am conditioned to cheer on the underdog, and in most cases the underdog loses. This is a compelling argument and has some merit, however I disagree. Some would say I root for the underdog. I say that they are the underdog because I root for them. This year I am going to attempt to root for whomever the Lions are playing. I will keep you updated with these and my other picks throughout the season. Thanks for reading.