WWE's Formula For Elevating Main Event Talent is Broken

“Doing the same thing, the same way, and expecting a different result is insanity.”
  — Albert Einstein

That quote does a pretty good job of summing up my current assessment of the WWE’s latest “effort” to elevate another young wrestler, in this case Jack Swagger, into a Main Event picture that has been almost completely stagnant for years.

It’s only been a couple weeks since WrestleMania, but you can already see the WWE Booking 101 playbook in full effect. It goes a little something like this:


Step 1: Wrestler wins big match

This is usually, though not always, the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.


Step 2: Wrestler gets thrust into title hunt

Since frequently the MITB winner is more of a mid-carder heading into the match, most people don’t really view him as a true contender, yet.

Seems like a good time to use that momentum to get him a couple key wins over established guys en route to his inevitable title showdown...or not.

Step 3: Wrestler gets “fluke” championship victory

This is critical. You absolutely, positively, cannot under any circumstance let any of these young wrestlers break through with a clean, decisive pin fall.

Rob Van Dam is the only MITB winner to have won an actual match—the other five all cashed theirs in when the champion was already injured/exhausted—and even he needed outside interference (Edge speared John Cena) AND a biased official (Paul Heyman) to count the pin.

You could even throw Sheamus’ title win in here as he never pinned Cena in their Tables Match, ensuring the fluke designation remains consistent.


Step 4: Wrestler immediately gets beaten in Non-Title Match

Another important element is to make sure your new champion doesn’t look too strong in the eyes of the fans. Sheamus was dominated by Cena on RAW two weeks after beating him for the belt on PPV. Sure, Sheamus lost by DQ and kept the belt, but he looked overmatched. Plus, way more people watch Raw than saw the PPV.

They’ve done the same thing with Swagger, having him get pinned two weeks in a row by Randy Orton. Assuming Orton remains on Raw and Swagger stays on SmackDown, how does that do anything positive for Swagger? That leads us to...


Step 5: Wrestler is made to look inferior to established Main Event talent

For whatever reason, WWE loves to remind us that Cena is better, stronger and tougher than anyone else. They also do it to lesser degrees with other established guys (like Orton, Batista, Triple H, Undertaker).

WWE seems to be taking this to new heights with Swagger, though, as since Mania he’s been pinned two times, made to look like a coward by Cena twice, speared and left lying by Edge, and mocked for his lisp.

The message that sends to the fans: This guy is a punch line.


Step 6: Wrestler loses title in short order

The average title reign for the first five MITB winners: 39.8 days. A good idea because nothing says “take this guy seriously” better than a one-month championship run.


Step 7: Wrestler gets pushed back down the card

If the last five years have taught us anything, it’s that the Main Event is reserved for Cena, Chris Jericho, Triple H, Edge, Batista, Undertaker and Orton.

Outside of CM Punk/Jeff Hardy at SummerSlam ’09, I can’t remember a PPV that didn’t finish with someone on that list. Plus, less than a year later Hardy is in TNA and Punk is working a mid-card feud with a past-his-prime Rey Misterio, so it’s not like WWE allowed that momentum to continue.

Based on that history we can assume that Swagger will be working Matt Hardy or R-Truth in some curtain jerker feud by the time August rolls around with a fresh matchup like Cena-Batista as the headliner.


Step 8: Vince McMahon bemoans his lack of young stars

"Blah blah we give opportunities...blah blah it’s up to them to step up...blah blah blah."

The most amazing aspect of WWE’s inability to create new stars is how much pride they took in doing just that during the Monday Night Wars Era. Now it’s like they’ve got no idea how to do it—the same shortcoming McMahon loves to associate with the downfall of WCW.

I don’t suppose they’ll take the belt off Swagger at Extreme Rules, but they’ve already established that Swagger isn’t in the same league as Cena or Orton.

It’s yet another in a seemingly never-ending string of shockingly short-sighted decisions by WWE’s creative team. Recycling successful gimmicks and story lines is part of professional wrestling, but their bizarre devotion to reusing a strategy that continuously fails borders on mind boggling.

Unless things change the WWE better hope everyone is looking forward to Cena-Orton headlining WrestleMania XXXV.