Hey Tiger! Did You Really Learn Anything?

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Hey Tiger! Did You Really Learn Anything?
Andrew Redington/Getty Images

"Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promoite discussion.  I want to find out what your thinking was, I want to find out what your feelings are, and did you learn anything."

Imagine that being said in the late Earl Woods' voice.  With a black and white Tiger staring at the camera blankly without an expression, like a little boy being caught and lectured by his father.

Yeah, Nike imagined that too.  Then, they made it a commercial.

So Tiger, what did you learn?

Answer me since your father isn't here for you to answer his question.

Oh, he really didn't ask you?  It was just a commercial?

Well lets pretend he was here.  How would you answer? What would you say?  How would you answer the man who essentially gave you everything you have?

How would you look the man who taught you how to be a man in the eyes? 

Sorry let me re-phrase that:

How would you look the man who tried to teach you to be a man in the eyes?

I guess he failed you there, even though I know he probably put more of an effort into that than he did your golf swing.

Excuse me. Allow me to re-phrase again.  He didn't fail you.

You failed him.

A real man, Tiger, wouldn't cheat on his wife with multiple women.  That is old news though.

We all know you made a mistake. We were starting to move on.  But now, with this commercial, things have changed again.

A real man, Tiger, wouldn't use his dead father's voice in a commercial to make it seem like his father is scolding him for cheating on his wife.

To put it plainly: A real man wouldn't try to profit off of his exextramarital affairs.

It seems like you havn't learned a thing.  Just because you make a scripted apology and do a few interviews with the press where you come off like an actual human being doesn't mean this is over.

Show us you have learned something. 

You said you were miserable about missing Charlie's first birthday. Then go spend time with him now. It doesn't have to be your son's birthday for you to spend time with your child.

You say you want to mend things with Elin, then don't be in Augusta, be with her.

You were a role model for so many, the same way your father was for you.  Now parents use you as an example of what not to be.

You used to inspire us all. And now, some of us don't know what to think of you.

So good luck at the Masters Tiger.  Personally though, I hope your shots find nothing but sand, water, and the rough stuff.

Better yet, I hope you miss the cut.  That way you could go and try to be half the father Earl was, before it's too late.

What were you thinking?

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