Tired of your buddies working you over year after year?
Does your wife refer to your team as the '99 Rams?
Do you find yourself taking Carson Palmer in the third round year after year?
Are you thinking of, or have you drafted Edgerrin James in the past two years?
If you or anyone you know has ever suffered from these symptoms, you may suffer from fantasy-related mesothelioma. Put down that gun friend, Dr. Ohlstrom’s here to help!
I was once just like you, confused, scared...lonely. I have drafted Carson Palmer in the third round, and spent an entire season drowning my regret at Willie’s around the corner. I even took the Bears' defense in the 10th round one year.
Of course they blew up that year and the pick really paid off, but that’s beside the point.
With the help of my 12-step system I’m over that now and will never make those mistakes again...and with my help, you won’t either!
I) Wait until the last two rounds to draft your defense and kicker
It’s obvious, but people somehow screw this up. I don’t know why I’m writing this because the guys who draft the Chargers' defense in the ninth round don’t know how to read anyway.
II) Stick with your early picks
Last year, I played with a guy who picked Brees in the early rounds, and then ended up cutting him because he got off to a slow start. Naturally, Brees picked up his play and was picked up by an owner who used him to finish fourth and slide into the last playoff spot. You’ll never guess who came in fifth.
III) Running back is still king
You can never have too many quality running backs. If your league starts two and a flex, you'll want four. Running back is the one position you can always make a trade with. There will always be an owner who doesn’t draft them right. Act accordingly.
IV) Never draft a running back over thirty
Just don’t do it.
V) Grab a QB late
There’s always a QB projected to go in the first round. For the past few years, it’s been Peyton Manning. Last year, Brady blew up, so now he’s the token first-round QB.
But here’s the thing: Manning played as well last year as he does every year. So why isn’t he a first-round pick too?
It’s a little-known rule that all reputable fantasy experts must adhere to. None of these experts are taking Brady in the first round, yet they rank him there. Why? Because they want schmucks like you and me to take Tom Brady with the sixth pick, take Larry Johnson in the second, and Reggie Bush in the fourth.
It’s because most fantasy experts are heartless bastards who don’t care about you and me.
14 comments Last one added 11 months ago — Leave a Comment
Alan Bass 12 months ago
haha i love number 8, that's exactly what i do for nhl fantasy sports. i loved your tips, they really are helpful. great article
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Paul Augustin, Jr. 12 months ago
So how do I know that you're not just another heartless bastard ready to screw me over.... but seriously, good article and great advice. I typically follow those same rules. I laugh hysterically when someone in my league drafts a second kicker.
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Jacob Sloan 12 months ago
Great advice to keep in mind. Too many people draft depth at K, DEF, TE when they don't need to at all.
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Twins Hines 12 months ago
I liked the article it gave me good advice. I usally do good but sometimes I win in thechampionship round and then sometimes I have such a bad team and no one would trade.
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Timmah Pierce 12 months ago
Our league puts a little more emphasis on Defensive points, so this would REALLY screw over a new person to our league.
PPR leagues and leagues with different settings are impossible to blanket analyze. But I agree with your common sense article, and how we all seem to lose it during the draft on occasion.
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Dave Harris 12 months ago
Excellent strategies. Thanks. Oh and this - "I am in no way, shape, or form advocating that you take Eli Manning" - made me really laugh out loud.
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Brendan Majev 12 months ago
Yeah, I love the Eli drill. I still don't think he's for real. I mean, Peyton looks smart... but Eli just LOOKS like an idiot (not saying he actually is).
Great read!
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Alex Ferguson 12 months ago
Brilliant. I don't play Fantasy NFL, but you've inspired me.
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Tosten Burks 12 months ago
Dude you are the first person I have ever seen who has the same exact beliefs as me for fantasy football.
Honestly, me and you are so much alike I'm scared.
The same belief, the same type of humor, the same writing style.
Best fantasy article I've seen on BR.
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Sean Crowe 12 months ago
I agree with everything except the strength of schedule thing...to a point. If you're stuck on two wide receivers, and one of them is finishing up with 5 crappy defenses, you go with the guy who's playing against the crappy defenses.
It's just another thing to factor in when the decision is close....
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andrew 11 months ago
Hey guys, check out this new spin on fantasy football, www.YOUbeQB.com
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Rob Ohlstrom 11 months ago
Hey douche, take that somewhere else.
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Ryan Gaydos 11 months ago
I'd watch closely to the waiver wire too because if some people in your league don't look at the league every week you might be able to pick up a steal. Last year I picked up Todd Collins and he helped me reach the playoffs as a six seed in a six team playoff system and I won the league on a tie-breaker.
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Rob Ohlstrom 11 months ago
Good point, the waiver wire is crucial.
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