Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras: The Morning After (Humor)

Robert OrzechowskiAnalyst IMarch 14, 2010

INDIAN WELLS, CA - MARCH 12: Former tennis player  Andre Agassi (L) hugs Pete Sampras as Rafael Nadal of Spain, and Roger Federer of Switzerland, look on at the conclusion of Hit for Haiti, a charity event during the BNP Paribas Open on March 12, 2010 in Indian Wells, California.  (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

The following is a fictional account of what transpired the next day when Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi bumped into each other while staying at the same hotel.

Andre:  Hey there Peter, great charity last night!

Pete: Yeah it was fun.  I especially enjoyed how you attempted to humiliate me in front of 16,000 fans.  Glad you came out for Haiti! (Rolls his eyes)

Andre:  Listen, man.  It was just a joke like you were mocking me.  As I said, it is all fun until someone gets hurt.

Pete: Let me share something with you, Andre.  Do you know when you did that and I was pausing?  You thought it was because I couldn't think of a comeback.  In reality, I was trying to think of which comeback to use against you.

First I thought I should snort imaginary crystal-meth from my arm.  Then I thought that this evening would be more about your dumb drug habit than hitting for haiti.  I had another thought to say "Look everyone, "Mini-me" has grown up." 

I did not say either of those things because you are a smart-mouth extrovert and you would have embarrassed Roger and Rafa even further.  So I let my racket do the talking and beamed you. 

Andre: Yeah I got the message all right.  I guess I did go a little too far because I cannot resist the attention given to me by the crowd. 

Pete:  Is that an apology?

Andre:  I am great with crowds but not so great one on one.

Pete: Is that an apology?

Andre:  Umm... yeah.

Pete: Ok apology accepted now come on and give me hug ya big lug.

The two men embrace.

Pete: You know something, Andre?

Andre:  What, Pete?

Pete: After last night, I wanted to relive every moment that I beat you in every final I played you.  Let me tell you, I did a LOT of reminiscing.

Andre: Ouch, Pete.  Guess I had that coming.

Pete: You had a great career, the crowds loved you and they still do.  You made a mistake and now let's move on.  We will cross paths again and let me tell you that the next time an incident happens like that, the ball I send across will be much more accurate.

Andre: I'll be sure to have one foot out to the exit door first. See you around Pete.

Pete:  See ya, Andre.  WAIT ANDRE WAIT...I want to talk about your book!!

Andre runs out while Pete throws up his hands in exasperation.