Andy Roddick to Roger Federer: Don't Be Such a Hog (Humor)

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Andy Roddick to Roger Federer: Don't Be Such a Hog (Humor)
Mark Dadswell/Getty Images

American No. 1 Andy Roddick unleashed a war of words on tennis great Roger Federer yesterday.  Roddick held a press conference which saw a no-holds-barred attack on why Roger felt he had to win everything. 

"This guy has broken all the records in tennis and he still feels the need to win more championships?  Come on!  Back in school in my day, we had a word for someone like that—HOG!  Give somebody else a chance why don't you."

Roddick said he never felt sorry for Roger when he lost to Rafael Nadal at Wimbledon in 2008 and then again at the Australian Open in 2009. 

"What, am I supposed to cry along with Roger because he lost a grand slam?  Poor Roger.  How about me?  I have not won ONE grand slam since the US Open in 2003.  I faced Roger four times in the grand slam finals and I did not win one of them.  Where is my compassion?"

Andy Roddick then fixed his stare and issued a personal plea to Roger Federer before emotionally collapsing:

"Rog, please, just please let me win one grand slam.  Isn't your trophy room big enough?  You know what all the trophies look like so why do you need more of them?  Let me win Wimbledon.  You said in your victory speech that maybe I will win it this year." 

"Come on, Roger.  You know I work hard to be a winner and I deserve to win more than just one slam.  I am begging you, please!  You don't even have to lose to me.  Just pick the opponent you want to lose to."

"Alright, if you don't want to lose to someone else, at least let me play the doubles court lines while you play the singles.  Work with me here, Roger.  There is only so much that Larry Stefanki can do with me and my time is running out." 

"ROGER, I SWEAR IF YOU RAISE ONE MORE TROPHY AT MY EXPENSE, I WILL RIP IT OUT OF YOUR ARMS AND PUT MY DEATH GRIP ON IT.  THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL GET THE TROPHY TO YOUR TROPHY ROOM IS IF YOU BRING IT THERE WITH ME STILL ATTACHED."

The reporters slowly file out as Andy starts to sob uncontrollably.  A sad day for US tennis indeed.

 

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