TNA Tonight: March Madness Begins In Orlando

Dale BurkeContributor IMarch 9, 2010

Tonight I review TNA Impact as I watch it live. and tomorrow I will cover WWE Raw. which I will watch tomorrow after work. "Oh DVR!! How I love thee."

the pre-show chat on TNA's Ustream is awesome. It's  the epicenter of ridiculosity.(New word I know.)

TNA opens with fireworks out the wazoo! Dixie is being shown all over the place. Hogan and Abyss start out the show coming to the ring. Hulk looks like wm9 Hulk. Minus the stitches on his eye.

Shots of Brooke. Abyss has a sweet red and yellow anarchy symbol on his vest.Spike is going to back jack? what? amped crowd tonight. Hogan has a list of things that go down against his grain, Brother. Reckoning day for TNA. 

Hogan loves saying asses.  Dixie looks enamored with Hulk. which TNA athlete will break her of this spell? AJ and Flair come out. as HBK taker face off on the competition.  great idea wrestling match vs talking. kudos tna. Abyss starts with AJ. AJ with kicks. attempt at an Irish whip but Abyss doesn't budge. Abyss whips AJ with a back drop to follow. and AJ tags in flair. Abyss palming flair's chest. big back drop to Flair. AJ cheats with Abyss while ref is distracted with hulk. inziguri to hogan.  flair and AJ beating on the immortal one and Abyss lights out and sting comes out. He attacks Hogan and Abyss. Flair and AJ and Sting laying waste to Hogan and Abyss. HBK Taker still talking as TNA is showing action. lol. Sting walks off the set. AJ and Flair look to be in complete control security come in and AJ and Flair take the high road and do not beat them up. Hogan bleeding. Blood has flowed.

match for later Abyss and Hogan vs AJ and Flair no dq. Taker and HBK still talking.

both on commercial break. right now. so far first block goes to TNA. when I have full attention to WWE i may change my mind.

back from break in WWE fashion tna shows what happened moments ago. ff xiii is shown as a commercial by both shows during break 1 btw. looks like a few of the same sponsors.

sting is walking to the back dixie is asking him what is going on?

AJ and Flair in the back. "there is no do over in pro wrestling" divas match right now looks like a 6 diva tag as flair cuts a promo.  "I don't care if we are in universal studios or in heaven you two will be leaving in an ambulance." Abyss is asking why Sting why. another commercial. divas get to fight during commercial break hahahah Bischoff at his best. lets put commercials on while the divas "wrestle" over on that other channel. 

Eve is pwning Maryse with single leg dropkicks. Katie Lea and Alisha Fox break the pin. will this match be over before the commercial break ends? huge slap by Maryse. rolling arm-bar by Eve from the top rope Maryse taps. and tna's commercial is still rolling. good job TNA. 

some random ho with Brooke (Brooke to throw in the towel on Hulk tonight?) 

Kaz in the ring. He "walked away" over 2 years ago.

Preaching that the X division should lead tna in the war. fallen angel comes in to interrupt. claiming he should be leading the x division's charge not Kaz. Doug Williams comes in to save the segment. crowd hating on him. 3way? Kaz calls him Douglas. 

Kaz and Daniels in a tiff again. Daniels is a selfish prick. what? Bischoff comes out.

Eric is So good.  keep him around. He is turning x division into the six million dollar man. bigger faster stronger.  and the future starts now...

starts off with quick roll ups. Daniels gains the upper hand. now Kaz fighting back. flying elbow. Kaz has both Daniels and Williams pinned for a 2 count.  Kaz rolls both Daniels and Williams out Kaz sunset flips onto the competition. Daniels and Kaz on the outside. Daniels into the pole.  nice back and forth ending with a knee to Kaz' face by Williams. Daniels coming back in so much action. Daniels hits a moonsault on Kaz. takes out Williams. dvd to Kaz two count. Williams back in Kaz dropkicks both of them. I am going to have to edit this hardcore there is just no time to correct myself. Kaz sling shot leg-drop two count. first real match and the stars have stepped up to the plate.  double two count. Daniels uses Kaz as a weapon against the champ. as Kaz rolls out of the way of the bme Williams hits chaos theory for the win. Shannon Moore taking it to Doug. prince of punk vs Williams at dx.

Dixie has a huge announcement about sting.  calls him Steve. tells him his opponent is at her discretion and he wont find out until everyone else does.

BP getting ready to fight out for the KO tag titles. shortest return from break that's what i call a teaser. lol. 3 team tag match for the KO tag titles.

Saritaylor vs BP vs Tara and Angelina Love. Love looking nice. Lacey has no ugly stick with her. Taylorita with a double roll up to start. Tara vs Taylor   Tara tearing it up. velvet with the blind tag. Madison in lots of screeching from velvet. her squeaking is awful. quick tag from BP ref distracted with Angelina . Daffney came in and knocked out Tara with the KO title. BP wins. "talk about highway robbery and a ton of BS." Taz quote of the night. 

Hemme with the Pope.  "every dog has its day" and Wolfe is taking apart Dinero. whips his ankle with the chain. sting is climbing down the stairs and Taz asks Tenay what he was doing at 420 this afternoon. 

seems like they have been matching commercial blocks so far. I'll admit the last two matches were too quick for me to keep up with both shows. Orton and legacy come back from break. Cody and Orton in the ring as tna is back live with BP celebrating their win.  its time to celebrate BP-style. sky is the front runner for favorite member of the beautiful people as she soaks BP and JB with bubbly. Sting recap. jacking Dixie against the wall was not re-shown.

Sting is coming out who will he face? Crowd still cheering him. really awful wrestling sign in front row getting some camera time. Sting getting his adrenaline going. bouncing in anticipation of his opponent. Taz blew the whistle with the 420 comment. jumped in from the audience taking it to sting quick with a rolling thunder and a quick win. Sting with the post match beat down. bat and all. Sting finally catching some boos. fans totally into RVD. Sting just hit the ref. He is on his way back to the ring  attacking RVD with a bat. "You suck" chants by the fans to sting looks like once again the fans can stick it. Sting hits a ref with a bat. and another one. crowd chanting for RVD. Slick avoiding Sting. Hogan's music is on. Now he has the bandage over the eye Bubba holding Hulk back from attacking Sting? Security is blocking Hulk from Sting. Sting is calling Hulk out. Still beating on RVD. How many ways can Sting hit him with a bat Jesus. nice segment. Sting hits Hogan through the ropes with the bat as security held him. Did Sting join the band? Sting attacks Hogan at the top of the ramp with the bat. 

legacy beat their former leader as Tenay and Taz bitch about Sting. 
Big Sexy and Young come out to address their issues with the band.

The Game will follow the commercial break. "One time and one time only band vs Nash and EY at designation x"   another short break from commercials to plug the band and Nash-Young.

The Game is coming out and TNA should be returning by the time he makes it to the ring. the Kliq very well could dominate the top of the 10 o'clock hour. oh and it does. and Triple H hits the apron. "Hall's in prison" chants from the audience. Game Shamus recap. Hall and PAC coming in from the back. security gets in the ring. lots of security earning their pay checks tonight. Val hands Hall a mic. "Hey Yo" "I heard you big sexy... big sell out." "Hogan ain't running the shizzow". "Hall wants fat money contracts." "Yo easy E you want in on this" ". its a deal-doe" "Ill be the one that looks like Elvis" "alive or dead" nice Nash. "EY you have a licence to kill slap that punk upside his bitch head" young on fire. PAC and young definitely not in wrestling gear. PAC taking some good bumps. EY is in control. PAC with a buster? Oh misses, jumping pile-driver and EY gets the three count, as Shamus and trips start a fight in the ring.

US Army Unloading at the impact zone.

triple h and Shamus brawled into the time keeper. Shamus looking to be almost equal to trips. spine buster by trips. segment goes into Santino.

the army lines up and angle enters through the soldiers. val hands Kurt a mic. army surrounds the ring.

tna logo above the ring has a graphic of a flag waving behind the logo. angle is schooling Anderson on who the army is. "It's not about you and those high school dropouts surrounding you. its about you and me and this international object." heard regals theme and thought it was Joe interrupting this segment at first. Kurt gets his hands on Anderson as the army acts as lumberjacks stomping Anderson then sliding him back in the ring. well slamming him into it anyways.  hope he didn't get hurt. angle slam and Anderson is laying in the middle of the ring. looks like Anderson had a Captain America shirt on. angle holding the flag above Anderson as the soldiers hoist him up on their soldiers.

Bourne just beat regal for a chance to get money in the bank. 

HBK Taker promo leading into break. what song is it this week? Johnny cash again. good song for this feud. final fantasy countdown to follow impact. 

Bubba is trying to convince hogan not to go out. Hogan is up to his neck. Bubba gives an Emmy speech. earl earns a second chance.

DX card being shown as raw comes back with a wrestlmania recall. Jarrett and beer-money arguing in the back . beer money attacks. back to break.  its 10 40  and raw is playing a lot of licensed music tonight. raw is re-highlighting Bret and McMahon. still think the shades that Bret wore last week were great for the McMahon reflection it was a good job by the production crew imo.

so cal's wrestling live commercial. totally pwns last weeks recap. oh and JB comes across as a perv. back to the show Jarrett is being attacked by beer money still. mick is special guest enforcer for the impromptu match.   Foley starts the match. and beer money takes it to Jarrett. i think Foley is in an argyle ref shirt. beer money double teams Jarrett. epics precedes impact next Monday very best of x division. eye of the storm to Jarrett. seems like BMI is now heel finally. storm spits his beer in Roode's face. spike will run over if it has to for hogan flair 70. Jarrett sends beer money to the outside. classic hogan noggin knocker. you suck chants coming from the crowd not sure for who. Foley passes the bat to Jarrett. slick prevents it. beer money with the low blow and beer money beat Jarrett. "we did our job you better be watching." Foley in the ring talking to Jarret with the bat in hand. Brooke's lines are a shame. Brooke is awful.  hulk just called Brooke Jennifer. haha. AJ and Flair teaser after a short break back to break. on wwe cena is called out to the ring. angel does a good job calling McMahon to the ring. chairman of the board. love him or hate him. good job Criss. Flair and AJ are in the ring. anyone notice no Jeff Hardy yet. hmmm. Abyss and Hogan coming out. I'm thinking the former world champ JB was talking about didn't decide to be on TV? commercial break for TNA. Cena is in a handicap gauntlet. faced Kozlov and now McIntyre Cena with a two count on two attempts by McMahon. swagger is next. raw goes to break as Swagger hits the ring. My god this post is going to need some weeding. lol.

back from break hogan and flair look to be starting it off. I'm telling you towel. "Vintage Ric Flair" almost like magic raw is back too. swagger is on the mat with Cena's 5 knuckle. swagger rolls the dice and takes control of the match. as flair and hogan are fighting outside. blood is everywhere. hogan called it. no dq. brook is cheering her father. typical drop spot by flair. Hogan and his weight belt.  flair is bloody as hell. its ridiculous because both shows are stale super Cena up against Hogan/Flair. Vince changes the rules to no dq . AJ is in kicking hogans tail. Flair taking care of hogan now. AJ back in. hogan and flair bleeding like crazy. tag back to Flair. has Abyss even been legal in this match. abyss and AJ get simultaneous tags. Double clothesline by Abyss. choke slam tosses AJ and flair. abyss wrestles with the hof ring. that's an illegal object isn't it.\? good thing its no dq. double hulking. not so sync on the big boots. they switch opponents. hogan tosses AJ into the black hole slam. TNA lasts longer than raw tonight. Desmond wolf comes in and attacks. Jeff hardy appears. attacking AJ and flair. and Wolfe. Jeff ends going to the top rope.

post show has Hardy Hogan Pope and Abyss in the ring waiting for Val to get mic'd up.

"i don't know are you 14?"


my god there was a lot tonight. hope they can live up to how they set their bar from tonight. 

if the first shot was January 4th than this must have been the 21 gun salute because tonight tna brought their A++ game to the table.angle possibly brought the biggest ratings in my opinion the hummer unloading the army and the army stomping the crap out of Anderson i think that stopped a lot of channel changers. we will see by Wednesday. 

over all we got to see a great show by tna. B+ had to take points off for Brooke, sorry.

the quick list.

a. No contest Flair AJ vs Abyss Hogan.

b. Doug Williams def Kaz and Christopher Daniels and retains the x division title.

c. beautiful people def Saritaylor and Tara w/ Angelina Love for the Knockouts tag titles.

d. RVD Def Sting

e. Eric young def PAC

f. Beer Money def Jeff Jarrett

g. Abyss and Hulk Hogan def Ric Flair and AJ Styles


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