Auburn University To Erect Gene Chizik Statue

Richard CotnerContributor IFebruary 21, 2010

AUBURN, AL - NOVEMBER 27:  A flag for the Auburn Tigers is flown during the game against the Alabama Crimson Tide at Jordan-Hare Stadium on November 27, 2009 in Auburn, Alabama.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Following what many fans consider to be the best recruiting class in school history, Auburn University officials have announced plans to erect a statue in honor of Head Coach Gene Chizik.

The statue is said to be slated for completion prior to the start of the 2010 football season and will be constructed entirely of pressure treated lumber, chicken wire, and Colonial Bank stock certificates.

Although the actual size and location of the monument have not yet been released, it is rumored that the finished height could approach the fifty foot mark.

"We feel like our program is headed in the right direction and we owe that to Coach Chizik and his efforts." said athletic director Jay Jacobs, speaking to himself in a mirror just prior to meeting with reporters.

When questioned about the rather odd building materials chosen for the monument, Jacobs stated "All the materials for this project were generously donated, except for the chicken wire, which we already had plenty of." 

Jacobs later added, that even though he had been assured by Pat Dye such an action would not be necessary, the materials used would allow the entire thing to be burned to the ground in less than an hour. 

There were initial reports that the statue would feature the coach on horseback, sporting yellow western attire, but those reports have proved to be false.

The statue's announcement has met with varying degrees of enthusiasm from the Auburn faithful. While some are in full support of the project, others consider it a waste of time and effort that could be better spent plotting the assassination of Nick Saban.