Los Angeles Clippers All-Star Break Report: They Stink

Maybe it will pass.

Maybe Kim Hughes can channel Harry Houdini.

Maybe Blake Griffin will heal, average 30 points and 15 rebounds the rest of the way to win the Rookie of the Year and MVP awards while leading the Clippers to the NBA Championship.

Maybe Tiger Woods was just interviewing new nannies and is misunderstood.

Maybe Dwight Howard wins the three-point shooting contest.

Maybe, this is just the way it's going to be for the Clippers the rest of the way. They will play for a lame-duck coach with the passion of a lame-duck team.

This is no way to court LeBron James!

Longtime Clipper basher (and coincidentally, Clipper season ticket holder) Bill Simmons of ESPN once commented on the possibility that James could sign with L.A. this offseason. Although aware of the advantages being in L.A. would bring James—the marketing possibilities, weather, a more "normal" life as he will be a celebrity among celebrities—Simmons made it clear it would never happen. His reasoning? "LeBron is too smart to get that Clippers stink on him. He can smell it from 2,000 miles away."

Right now, that stink is emanating at record levels.

Adam Carolla coined the phrase "Hobo Power" to measure the power of stink.  It works like this.

• 0 hobo - Doesn't smell bad at all
• 13 hobo - "A robust fart"
• 30 hobo - The smeller must vomit.
• 50 hobo - Carolla suggested the hypothetical: "50 hobo power is a cat that's been fed nothing but blue cheese for a week defecating on a white-hot hibachi."
• 100 hobo - Purely theoretical (comparable to absolute zero). Near 100 hobo would cause death by asphyxiation.

The Clippers, after the no-show in No-Cal on Wednesday, came in at a season high 63 Hobo Power! A thirty-point loss will do that to you.

I don't mind a team that losses. If I did, you think I would have accepted the assignment to follow this group of ball players? I mind a lot, however, when a team shows the same passion during a ball game that Manny Ramirez shows in running hard to first on a weak ground ball to second. 

Lose, but play with passion. Play like you don't want to lose. Against the Warriors on Wednesday, my junior high basketball team would have played better defense.

I'm not kidding.

My group of seventh and eighth graders play with passion. Against the Golden State Warriors, Josh would have driven the lane with no regard for the hard foul. Peter would have stolen the ball and driven in for layups after pressing Stephen Curry. Mike would have blocked every layup attempt, or at least tried to. Brandon would have looked left, passed right for a wide open layup for a teammate. 

The game is winding down with the lead changing several times, then Chandler steals the ball, passes to Brandon R., who makes a great pass to Collin, who shoots from the corner. His shot bounces off the rim, his only miss of the game, but Toonie is there to grab the rebound and put it in from a ridiculous angle. The game is tied now with seconds remaining when the NBA Warriors turn the ball over after intense pressure from the Junior High Warriors. Somehow the ball gets to Jonathon beyond the three-point line for a chance at a win.

I won't tell you if that shot went in. That's not the point. The point is that I coach a team that plays with passion—right now, Kim Hughes does not.

When you play with passion, miracles can happen. Ask Villanova 1985.

When you play with passion, you make your coach look good.

When you play with passion, wins follow.

When you play with passion, players want to be on your team.

When you play like the Clippers have in their last 10 games (2-8), people just can't bare to watch. That includes a certain someone in Ohio who could do for the Los Angeles Clippers what Magic Johnson did for the Los Angeles Lakers.  

Think about it.

Maybe, just maybe, its time to play with passion, Clippers. My team of junior high basketball studs is available anytime to show you guys how it's done.