John Terry's Song: Playing at The Bridge (as made famous by Ashley Cole)

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John Terry's Song: Playing at The Bridge (as made famous by Ashley Cole)
Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

I've been waiting so long for something like this to happen.

However, I wrote the lyrics to this song with the assumption that Ashley Cole was going to sleep around a few more times. To all of our surprise, it's been Sir John Terry, the England captain with knighthood, who has been pointing his "jousting stick" at former teammate Wayne Bridge's now ex-girlfriend.

John Terry shouldn't be left off the England squad entirely, but to be consistent and set an example (hmmm that's rich...), he should relinquish the captain's armband and give it to Steven Gerrard.

Anyway, I'm still going to focus the song on Ashley Cole, who is one of the most ungrateful footballers I've ever known. He plays around with other women—this despite the fact that he is married to the fairest maiden in all of England, Cheryl Cole, who has stayed faithful to him all this time.

Tune: 'Livin' on the Edge' by Aerosmith.

Sing along here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UulqHpAuGaw

There's something wrong with the wife today.
But hey, there always is.
Who can sympathise?

I keep on making these mistakes
And God knows they ain't hers.
It's really no surprise.
(Ya!)

Playing at the Bridge.
Playing at the Bridge.
Playing at the Bridge.
Playing at the Bridge.

There's always someone in my bed.
I really don't care who.
I do it all the time.

For once, nobody judges
By the colour of my skin.
'Cause I'm a man who screws girls on the side.
(Oh!)

Playing at the Bridge.
(You just can't stop me from cheating) (every bottom, every bottom)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go ask Cheryl Cole)               (every bottom, every bottom)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go and ask Cheryl Cole)         (every bottom, every bottom)
Playing at the Bridge.                         (every bottom, every bottom)

Tell me what you think about my situation.
The temptation, instigation
Is getting to me.

Even after this I think I still deserve her.
Even if I didn't I'd have the nerve to
Have her again.
I think I would, my friend.
Again and again and again and again
And again...

(Solo)

Tell me what you think about my situation.
The temptation, instigation
Is getting to me.

Even after this I think I still deserve her.
Even if I didn't I'd have the nerve to
Have her again.
I think I would, my friend.
Again and again and again and again
And...

There's something wrong with the wife today.
But everybody thinks I'm wrong.
But she can tell me no and say I should go.
But I would rather just be clinging on.

Playing at the Bridge.
(You just can't stop me from cheating)          (every bottom, every bottom)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go ask Cheryl Cole)                        (every bottom, every bottom)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go and ask)                                  (every bottom)
(You can go and ask)                                  (every bottom)  
Playing at the Bridge.                                  (every bottom, every bottom)
Playing at the Bridge.                  
Playing at the Bridge.
Playing at the Bridge.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, Yeaaahhhh.

Playing at the Bridge.
(You just can't stop me from cheating)         
Playing at the Bridge.
(You just can't stop me from cheating)                      
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go ask Cheryl Cole)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You just can't stop me from cheating)         (every bottom)                     
Playing at the Bridge.                                 (every bottom, every bottom)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go and ask)
(You can go and ask)                  
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go ask Cheryl Cole)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go and ask)
(You can go and ask)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You can go and ask)
(You can go and ask)
Playing at the Bridge.
(You just can't stop me from cheating)
Playing at the Bridge.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, Yeaaahhhh.

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