Brett, Please Wait For My Vacation

[Note to editors -- I have two vacation trips planned, one in late February, one in June. Hold on to this then cut & paste as you need to -- JO]

[INSERT DATELINE HERE, EITHER MINNEAPOLIS OR KILN, MS.] -- Brett Favre announced today that he is [RETIRING, THINKING ABOUT RETIRING, THINKING ABOUT THINKING ABOUT RETIRING] from professional football.

The announcement ended weeks of speculation following the Minnesota Vikings [LOSING TO NEW ORLEANS OR INSERT RESULT OF NFC TITLE GAME, SUPER BOWL IN NECESSARY].

"There comes a time in every man's life where he just has to step back and assess where he is," Favre said with tears in his eyes. "I have done that and have concluded that it is probably not going to be in the best interest of me and my family to consider whether coming back for another season might be a possible option for me.

"I can't be any clearer than that."

[INSERT GRAFF OR TWO ON HIS FIRST 14 RETIREMENTS, WITH CHRONOLOGY & TEAMS. ADD RESULTS, SPACE PERMITTING]

[INSERT PAST QUOTE WHERE HE HAS REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS A "GUNSLINGER"]

[INSERT GRAFF ON HIS DESIRE TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS FAMILY]

[Note to editors -- Then use this in the summer. -- JO]

[INSERT DATELINE HERE, PROBABLY KILN] -- Source close to a guy who has a brother that we think dated Brett Favre's step-daughter have confirmed the quarterback wants to play in 2011.

[INSERT GRAFF HERE ON HIM NOT BEING AT ANY TRAINING CAMP YET -- HE USUALLY DOESN'T SHOW UP UNTIL AFTER THE 2D PRESEASON GAME, THAT OLD RASCAL]

While Favre announced his retirement at the end of last season, he is said to have had a change of heart.

[INSERT GRAFF HERE ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH BRAD CHILDRESS IF HIS IS JERKING THE VIKINGS CHAIN]

[INSERT GRAFF HERE IF HE IS JERKING MULTIPLE CHAINS ON SEVERAL TEAMS]

[INSERT USELESS QUOTE FROM HIS AGENT BUS COOK, SAYING ESSENTIALLY NOTHING]

[INSERT GRAFF ON RUMORS OF FAVRE WORKING OUT AT SOME LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL]

[INSERT GRAFF ON THE TEAMS THAT MIGHT MAKE A PLAY FOR HIM -- START WITH THOSE WHO WILL DISPLACE A PROVEN STARTER AND WORK YOUR WAY DOWN]

[INSERT MAN-CRUSH QUOTE FROM SOMEONE LIKE JOHN MADDEN ON HOW BRETT PLAYING AT 70% IS BETTER THAN MOST PLAYING AT 100% -- IT'S CRAP, BUT WHAT THE HELL]

[INSERT GRAFF ON HOW LITTLE TIME IS LEFT IN THE PRESEASON. BY THEN I'LL BE BACK AND CAN LAND THIS PUPPY FOR YOU. THANKS!]