Why the Christian Community Should Back Off CM Punk

I was hoping that this article would never have had to be written, let alone by myself. But alas, here we are, and I have read my first article about Christian wrestling fans being offended by "The Straight Edge Society." Where to begin?

The angle currently played by CM Punk in World Wrestling Entertainment is one in which Punk takes on the role of the straight-edged savior. He comes to the ring with his bodyguard, Luke Gallows, in tow and exclaims to the throngs of jeering fans that he can save all of them.

Save them from what, you may ask?

The answer, quite simply: themselves.

Punk then proceeds to preach the life of straight edge: a life free of drinking, drugs, & cigarettes. A sermon met with a cacophony of boos. Naturally, your average wrestling fan would not appreciate such blaspheme.

Punk then asks which of his audience members would like to be saved. He then selects his predetermined volunteer. The volunteer enters the ring, sits down, and begins to have his shoulders caressed by the large hands of Luke Gallows.

Punk then asks this man if he is ready to give up his useless life of excess and accept straight edge into his heart.

The man complies.

Punk shaves the man’s head.

Gallows continues to caress.

After the man's head has been shaved, he is born anew into the life a straight edge, and raises his hands in triumph.

What I have just described is a full-fledged religious experience. But the question is: Is it a Christian experience?

Let us examine this in the form of a Q&A with myself.

Is it a Christian value to abstain from drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes?

Yes. It is a value of Christianity. It is also a value of Islam, Judaism, and most other religions as well.

Is it a Christian value to shave your head?

I certainly hope not.

Is it Christian to speak of saving?

The idea behind it has kind of been contorted, but yes.

So based on these questions, can we conclude that CM Punk is molding himself as some kind of Straight Edge Jesus?

Well, yes, minus the head shaving. He is also a Straight Edge Moses, Mohammed, and Buddha.

So CM Punk is a composite of all religions?

Kind of, being Straight Edge isn’t exactly a religion.  

So he's kind of like a Cult Leader?

DING DING DING!!!!

So "The Straight Edge Society," is nothing more than a spoof on Waco, or Heavens Gate, and Punk is its David Koresh?

Precisely.

So Punk is booed by fans because his character is a contradiction. He claims to be a pure soul surrounded by addicts, when in reality, just like a cult leader, he is addicted to his own power over his disciples?

Yes.

So there's nothing Christian about Punk and "The Straight Edge Society" at all. Unless Christians are saying that Christianity is like a cult?

Well, it is in a way. They are both based on a system of beliefs and look up to one main leader. But I don't think they would be comfortable with their religion being described as a cult. 

So I guess Christians need to learn that they didn't invent religion and that it is practiced in many variations by many different sects yet still have comparable beliefs?

I hope they do some day.