Team America's Success Hinges on Clint Dempsey's Knee

I'll be honest, I'm not sure what type of audience I am writing to.

Are you an avid US men's soccer fan? Haha trick question, there are only four of them in the world. Are you the enemy British, who injured the beloved Clint Dempsey in order to derail a World Cup group stage foe? Maybe you're a fellow US sports fan who is also beginning to appreciate the beauty and intricacy of soccer, and for you, I will happily explain how important Clint Dempsey is to the US men's soccer team.

Clint Dempsey needs to play the World Cup. He is an integral part of the offense, second only to Landon Donovan. His loss may force Donovan out of left wing and into Dempsey's position at right wing due to the lack of experienced replacements. His finishing ability would be missed; he was the leading goal scorer in the Confederations Cup (Man of the match against Spain, America's 2nd greatest victory over socialism). He is the US's best goal scorer with Charlie Davies injured and Landon Donovan's increased emphasis on creation and not finishing.

Are you worried yet? The results of Dempsey's MRI should come out later today, but his manager has been saying it's his PCL, an ominous prediction. Seriously, this isn't good. I have bought every single horse placenta on Ebay and I will send most of them to Clint Dempsey. I hope it works.

The loss of Dempsey would create the previously mentioned hole in the midfield. Jozy Altidore, at forward, would be expected to alleviate the loss of Clint Dempsey. Jozy Altidore may become Didier Drogba one day but he currently is too young and raw. He probably will not respond well to the increased pressure, and Landon Donovan would also attempt to shoulder the burden. The worst possible scenario for US soccer is an injured Clint Dempsey, and a subsequent Landon Donovan choke job due to the fact he was trying too hard.

He also has the most experience on the team against English players, the toughest US opponent in the group stages.

It's important that the US performs well in the upcoming World Cup. The rest of the world doesn't like us that much; they blame us for pollution, obesity, the recession, and Jersey Shore. We're trying to change our image though, we elected Barack Obama as President and created the iPhone (you're welcome).

The US tends to dominate most international sporting events yet we have never been able to make an impact in the world's most popular sport, soccer. This year's World Cup is a fantastic stage to show the world that the United States is changing. Of course this would require a strong showing from Team America, and that would require all the major actors, including a healthy Clint Dempsey.