The Credible Cockroach: Thanks For Stopping By Lane

Dear Lane,

Spoken by a Gator grad, we're not sorry to see you go.  Please vacate the premises and take your broken promises, asinine accusations, and blundering distractions to the glossy glamour of the Southern California coast. 

There you will find a Reality TV show befitting of the drama you have unnecessarily pestered the SEC with for the past year. The consistently warm and sunny environment will suit your species well. 

Your resilience and ability to cause an uproar is admirable.  Despite being exterminated out of Oakland in a mere twenty months, you've one-upped Al Davis and ceased your tenure at UT in fourteen.

In those glorious 14 months, you've managed to cry wolf twice on your fellow SEC East foes, had your entire coaching staff banned from a Florida high school, been publicly reprimanded by the SEC Commissioner, and issued three apologies...and counting. 

Alas, your empty promises do not go unwarranted.  Although you did not manage to "Rocky Top all night long after we beat Florida", you mustered up enough vocals to sing in just over half your games this season and creeped in your unranked team against No. 11 Virginia Tech in the Chick-fil-A Bowl.  Good thing you showed them where your mouth was as they stomped you into submission.    

All in all, everyone wins in this matter.  Tennessee will be nursing its wounds; but for the greater good of the conference, they took one for the team. You will thrive in the flashiness that you tried to blind college football with only to realize that the best bling comes in the form of championship rings, not verbal vomit.

While your kind typically plagues places for good, thanks for taking the initiative and eradicating yourself, even if Tennessee is left to air out your stench.

Cheers!