USC Hires "Kalifornia Kiffin" and Makes The Pac-10 Very Happy!

D. WalkerAnalyst IJanuary 13, 2010

The Pac-10 is very happy these days. In fact, they are ecstatic!

Lane "Kalifornia" Kiffin was selected to be the next head coach at USC—replacing Pete Carroll, who had a long run of success with the Trojans.

But why are they partying from Seattle to Tucson?

Perhaps it's the fact that the Pac-10 coaches just love Kiffin's brash bravado.

How long will it take for Kiffin to stick his nose high in the air and smugly declare victory prior to the season even starting?

"Kalifornia Kiffin" is returning to Hollywood...exactly where he has always thought he belonged.

The Pac-10 says, "Perfect, just perfect!"

When opposing Pac-10 coaches are out on the recruiting trail and they run into a quality athlete who has already been snowed by "KK" they can remind that young man of a number of key facts.

Kiffin's first head coaching job was with the Oakland Raiders, where he won an astounding total of four games in his first year, and finished dead last in the AFC West.

In his second year with the Raiders, Kiffen racked up a total of one victory, and was fired after the fourth game.

If you're trying to trying to keep stats as we go, I'll help you. That would be a record of 5-15.

Miraculously, Kiffin surfaced as the new head coach of the Tennessee Volunteers, where he managed to at least have a winning record (7-6) in his first year.

Also during his first year, "KK" managed to rack up NCAA recruiting violations, which made Kiffin a "natural" for the job at USC.

If he can commit a number of secondary violations in just one year at Tennessee, just imagine how many he could be disciplined for at Southern Cal!

He might even get up to the "major" NCAA sanction level with the Trojans in record time.

The Pac-10 coaches can ask if Kiffin had told the young recruit "if you don't come to USC you'll end up pumping gas the rest of your life" which he told Alshon Jeffrey would happen if Jeffrey chose South Carolina over Tennessee.

There is no doubt that fellow Pac-10 coaches are thrilled with SC's hiring of Kiffen.

When "KK" tells a young recruit that he's not going anywhere, and he'll be with the Trojans "forever,"  the opposing coaches can say "did you know that in 'Kalifornia Kiffin's' world forever is defined as just over a year"?

Talk about loyalty!

Of course each of the Pac-10 coaches is wondering which one will be the first one that Kiffin accuses of NCAA violations, as he did in the first weeks of his very short tenure at Tennessee.

On February 5, 2009, Kiffin accused Urban Meyer, the head coach of the Florida Gators, of violating NCAA recruiting rules at a Tennessee Booster breakfast at the Knoxville Convention Center.

"I'm going to turn Florida in right here in front of you," Kiffin told the crowd. "As Nu'Keese (a recruit’s last name) was here on campus, his phone keeps ringing. And so one of our coaches is sitting in the meeting with him and says, 'Who is that?' And he looks at the phone and says, 'Urban Meyer.'"

"Just so you know, you can't call a recruit on another campus. But I love the fact that Urban had to cheat, and still didn't get him," Kiffin told the audience.

Kiffin was forced apologize shortly after to all involved. It seems as though what he was accusing Meyer of just wasn't true.

USC's hiring of Lane Kiffin has many scratching their heads.

Was Kiffin called only after many others had told Mike Garrett, USC's athletic director, "thanks but no thanks?"

Hard to imagine that the mighty Trojans would have to settle for a coach that has a head coach winning-percentage of a whopping 36-percent.

Kiffen is 12-21 as a head coach. Usually that would get a guy fired, not hired.

Perhaps what was so attractive about Kiffin was his knack for violating the rules of the NCAA. In that respect, Kiffin and Southern Cal could be a very good fit.

If "KK" can rack up violations in Tennessee in his first year, just think what he can do at USC!

The possibilities are endless!

Maybe it's Lane Kiffin's unsurpassed ability to stick his foot firmly in his mouth that attracted the Trojans.

Talk about opportunities! The Los Angeles media circus will provide Kiffin with multiple opportunities every single week to see how far down his throat the guy can get his foot.

USC's hiring of Kiffin has delivered great joy in many Pac-10 cities.

Seattle is thrilled.

Not only did Seattle get Pete Carroll for their Seahawks, but they get to keep Sarkision with the UW Huskies too. The Emerald city hit the jackpot on this one.

Eugene is happy because Mike Bellotti is still the AD at Oregon and is not leaving for Southern Cal.

Corvallis is pumped. Mike Riley said "thanks, but no thanks" when Garrett called wanting Riley at Southern Cal, and instead Oregon State agreed to a contract that will keep Riley in Corvallis until retirement home years.

Even Boise is happy, and they aren't even in the Pac-10! After talking with USC, Chris Petersen is staying at BSU!

At least until Tennessee calls.

Speaking of Tennessee, they are the happiest of all. They got rid of the biggest mistake in the University of Tennessee's history.

Every year in Tennessee the state legislature passed a bill in recognition of the head coach at Tennessee. It's tradition.

Wednesday, when the Tennessee's Speaker of the House asked for a "voice vote" on whether to pass a bill honoring Lane Kiffin. The State Representatives responded with a resounding "NO!"

It was the most joyful sounding "NO!" in state history.

"Kalifornia Kiffin" is now where he belongs. In Hollywood.

...and the Pac-10 couldn't be happier!


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