More Shocking Cardinal Revelations

He finally came clean.

Since the day that the St. Louis Cardinals announced that Mark McGwire would replace Hal McRae as the team’s hitting coach, most fans in the sports world knew that a tearful admission of steroid use was inevitable. His use was never in doubt by those not named Tony LaRussa and so assuming a position in the Cardinals dugout would offer up nothing but a distraction if the issue wasn’t addressed at some point prior to the season. After months of silence, he broke down yesterday with the admission – he did steroids.

McGwire’s revelation is one that has taken on much more significance due to the modern information era in which we currently live. In reality, there have been MANY public admissions from other notable Cardinals players over the rich 100+ year history of the franchise, most of which were simply overlooked by the public or swept under the rug by a forgiving media. Here is a list of some of the most notable…

April 4, 1974- On the condition that they pledged never to leak said information to the press, Cardinals reliever Al Hrabosky informed his teammates in a shocking revelation that his name actually was actually Bob Jones and the entire “Mad Hungarian” persona had been a publicity stunt.

June 28, 1979- Just a few short months after his mysterious arrival at Busch Stadium, Fredbird stunned most of the 31,250 in attendance when he removed his head and revealed that he wasn’t simply a rambunctious, freakishly large bird who had a passion for the sport of baseball, rather a human in a costume suit.###MORE###

January 7, 1985 – Overcome with his emotion after learning of his induction into the Hall of Fame, Lou Brock conceded to a small inner circle of people that of the 938 bases that he stole in his career, he did not give a single one back.

October 13, 1985 – Much to the shock of his teammates, Cardinals rookie Vince Coleman admitted to the team in a closed-door meeting after Game 4 of the NLCS that he had indeed said something derogatory to the Busch Stadium automated tarp machine prompting its attack on his leg that sidelined him for the remainder of the playoffs.

August 18, 1994- Citing a variety of reasons including the fact that his only starter with a sub 5.00 ERA at the time was someone named Vicente Palacious, Cardinals manager Joe Torre issued a formal release to the press stating that he was thrilled with the news that the remainder of the 1994 season had been cancelled.

August 12, 2005- After being caught in the locker room using artificial enhancements, Jim Edmonds was prompted by teammates to admit to the press his frequent use of hair “frosting”, stunning those who believed his locks were a natural chestnut auburn color with golden highlights.

July 12, 2006- In an emotional admission, Tony LaRussa confirmed what the Johnson family had suspected for years… Freddie, the dog they adopted from an ARF event a year previously, had not born wearing a Mark McGwire jersey like LaRussa had claimed and, in fact, had no idea who Mark McGwire was.

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