The Sequel To “John Tucker Must Die” Is “Brian Scalabrine Must Die”

Loscy LoscyContributor IJanuary 11, 2010

PHOENIX - DECEMBER 30:  Brian Scalabrine #44 of the Boston Celtics falls into the crowd during the NBA game against the Phoenix Suns at US Airways Center on December 30, 2009 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Suns defeated the Celtics 116-98.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Okay. Let’s not get out of hand here: Brian Scalabrine shouldn’t die. He is a perfectly nice human being that helps out local companies like ReMax sell houses. But lately, that is the only reason that Scal is making headlines. He is certainly not making headlines because of his stellar play in basketball…which is what we are paying him to do. And by we, I mean, yes, WE. US. CELTICS FANS THAT BUY TICKETS TO GAMES, MERCHANDISE FROM STORES, AND PAY FEES FOR CABLE TO WATCH THE CELTICS PLAY WHICH IN TURN PAYS MANAGEMENT AND PLAYER SALARIES.

It’s not a good sign when the only reason you’re making headlines is when you are doing open house tours in a struggling real estate market.

Sorry Boston, but it’s time to trade Brian Scalabrine. The time is now. Start your separation anxiety.

There will be a “hot-line” to call at the end of the post where you can vent, grieve, get angry, and learn to recover.

I know so many of you love him because he’s our little red-headed mascot, but that is no reason to hold onto a three million dollar trading chip. In a unique time in our association’s history, a three million dollar expiring contract is as good as an invaluable role player that few teams would be willing to give up. Teams around the horn are clamoring for guys that they can dump come the free agency spree of 2010 this June.

Pull the trigger, Danny. Pull the trigger right now. Pull the mother effin trigger.

Which way out of town?

Let’s take a look at what Scal has given us this season:

  • In 28 games, Scal is giving us an average of 10 minutes per game.
  • He is shooting 30 percent from the field.
  • 23 percent from behind the arc.
  • Less than a rebound per game.
  • Less than an assist per game.
  • And a whopping 1.1 points per game.

Those are the basic statistics. Let’s take a deeper look with the geek stats through &

  • According to, he’s net points is at -8, which means his +/- rating is a -8 across 48 minutes…yikes.
  • His PER ratings at the SF position is 8.3 and 1.7 at PF position (in case you’re curious, Rondo has a PER of 22.1).
  • In his net 48 minute production by position, in other words what would his PER rating be if he played 48 minutes, his PER is even worse: -6.4 at SF, -19.7 at the PF, and -17.7 as a center.

Take a look at his rankings according to positions:



I know that he is a reserve… but even for a reserve, it’s still a big whoops.

The bigger question really is who to package Scal with. Would it be TA? I’m not sure… Tony is proving to be a pretty important 2-man coming off the bench, or even filling in as a temporary starter.I am willing to hold on to TA for as long as possible just before the trade deadline.

So then it leaves… Maybe Glen Davis? Someone give me some thoughts about this. What to do with Davis? Keep him? Trade him? Here is my line of reasoning for trading Davis: If we don’t have KG, then we aren’t going to win the title. Let’s all get our heads out of our rears and realized that if KG is not in the lineup, neither Rasheed nor Davis will fill KG’s enormous shoes and help lead the Celtics to No. 18.

If that’s the case, why not use Davis as trade bait in order to get someone that could be an integral part to our bench? You know…a PF that is excited to come off the bench for the Celtics and a veteran back-up PG to give Rondo some rest?

Unless Danny and management see Davis as an integral part to the franchise’s future, then why not take the gamble, roll the dice, trade Baby + Scal for a back-up PF and a veteran PG, and just hope that KG is healthy for the playoffs. If KG is healthy come April-June, then Shelden and Sheed will out work very well for the Celtics as back-ups.

I’m not completely sold on trading Davis at this point…but if I had to choose between Davis and TA to be packaged with Scal RIGHT NOW, I am choosing Davis.

Whoa. I cannot believe I just chose TA over anything.

As I say all of this, Scal just drained a three and made a couple of good defensive stops against Josh Smith. Regardless of whether or not Scal has a big game tonight against Atlanta, I am still saying that Scal needs to go. Maybe after he shows a house for ReMax this weekend he can sell his own house when his Irish-ness gets shipped across the country.

For the grieving Scal fans that need a hotline, please just send a tweet to @loscy and know that your concerns will be answered in 140 characters or less…


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