NASCARbernet Makes Walmart's New Top 10 Wine List (Humor)
Walmart is reportedly launching into another new endeavor, offering an innovative line of low-cost wines to its customers.
The world's most famous discount retail chain is reportedly partnering with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery to offer a new line of wine, priced in the $2.00 to $5.00 range.
"There is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, Professor of Marketing at the University of Arkansas. "But the right name is important."
Walmart took Professor Micken's advice to heart and conducted customer surveys to determine the best names for their new wine line. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
10. Chateau Trailer Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante
Walmart noted that their new wines can be served with either white meat—including possum or red meat, and especially squirrel. The retailer notes that the new wine line goes exceptionally well with other favorite Walmart customer foods, from venison to cheese doodles.
A spokesman for NASCAR, who preferred to remain anonymous, acknowledged that the sanctioning body was thrilled with the inclusion of NASCARbernet in Walmart's new line of wines.
"We can't wait to introduce this new wine to our stock car racing fans," said the spokesman. "NASCARbernet will undoubtedly be a great addition to our other adult beverages at the track, and may just give Budweiser and Miller Lite a run for their money."
NASCAR confirmed that the new wine would be available for the season's first race at Daytona.
As part of the festivities kicking off the 2010 race season, Jeff Gordon and Richard Childress, both wine aficionados themselves, are scheduled to host a NASCARbernet wine tasting during Speedweeks prior to the Daytona 500.
"Jeff is super excited about being a part of the launch of Walmart's NASCARbernet," said a representative from Hendrick Motor Sports. "Since his wine is so much more expensive, he is glad that those who cannot afford his wine can at least enjoy the Walmart brand."
Richard Childress agreed with Gordon's sentiments, noting that his wine was even more expensive than Gordon's, far outsurpassing the Walmart NASCARbernet.
But as an avid hunter, Childress thought there would especially be a market for Walmart customers who can buy not only their guns and ammo at Walmart but now their libations as well.
After the launch of NASCARbernet in February, Walmart has confirmed that the wine will be available in all of their stores throughout the country the very next week.
Walmart also announced a special promotion to further encourage race fans to sample their new wine line. For every bottle of NASCARbernet purchased, Walmart will throw in a No. 88 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. T-shirt and one AMP Energy Drink.
"Quantities are limited, so we encourage NASCAR fans to come and line up early for this special offer," a Walmart representative said. "Please be reminded that RV's are always welcome in Walmart's parking lots."
For more information about Walmart's new wine line, including NASCARbernet, visit www.walmart.org or www.nascarbernet.edu.
What is the duplicate article?
Why is this article offensive?
Where is this article plagiarized from?
Why is this article poorly edited?