My Two Cents: Mic Check For Shaq, Kobe & Imus

At first, I didn't think that this was a big deal. But after listening and hearing the webstream of Shaq's concert and Don's latest red flag, I'm determined to dish out my version of some Sweet Justice. So Shaq and Don, sit down and pay attention, because you will be seeing this article on almost every site.

Shaquille O'Neal vs. Kobe Bryant Part Whatever

Well, the NBA season is officially over, and the Boston Three Party aren't the only NBA players smiling. At a club in, Shaq decided to show his disdain and disgust towards Kobe Bryant the only he knows how: Through the art of song.

Eminem did it in 8 Mile. 50 Cent did it in Get Rich or Die Tryin'. Now the artist formerly known as Shaq Diesel is stepping back into the hip hop ring and has called out his former protege. Now I bet all of you were expecting me to rag on Shaq and call him an idiot, but it's the complete opposite.

I am in Shaq's corner on this one for one simple reason: I'm waiting for Kobe to tell us how Shaq's @$$ taste. At a club, Shaq busted a freestyle rhyme in honor (or dishonor if you will) to his former partner in crime. In all honesty, the Big Man has the right to knock Kobe. Kobe is the reason that Shaq is gone from Los Angeles. Kobe is the reason that the Lakers have not won a title since Diesel's departure.

But Shaq has one more ring than Kobe does. I say to myself, "Maybe I'm being too hard on Kobe. He did win the MVP Award (though he shouldn't have). He did make it to the Finals (on an easy road through Denver and Utah). He almost won it (almost doesn't count anywhere). Maybe I should be nice to Kobe."

But then I just had another beer, replayed the Shaq Rap and laughed my @$$ off some more. Kobe, I told you three years ago that you wouldn't be able to do it without Shaq, but you didn't listen. I told you a few months ago that you wouldn't be able to pull it off with your ego. I told you that even though you have talent, you are overrated.

In the NBA Finals, you proved me right. Sucks to be you, don't it Kobe?

So the million dollar question to Kobe Bryant is this: How does our @$$ tastes?

Don Imus: You're the Weakest Link! Goodbye!

Remember when some old dried up prune shot racial remarks towards Rutgers Women's Basketball Team? Everyone was all for getting rid of him completely. Now that he's back, there are morons out there defending this jackass!

The reason he's here now? He shot another racial remark on his radio show, this time towards Adam Jones. He made it sound like African Americans are nothing more than criminals who pop a cap in America's @$$ everytime they step out of the ghetto. For those with children, you might want to move them away from the screen.

Mr. Imus, you are by far the world's dumbest son of a bitch! You actually expect us to believe that you were being sarcastic after the fiasco known as Rutgers. What the hell are you thinking you senile old bastard? I am ashamed that ABC brought your sorry @$$ back on the air, and I'm even more ashamed that you're allowed to speak your racial remarks on a daily basis.

Shouldn't you be on a Viagra commercial or something? I look at you, and I just want to throw up. You disgust me as well as every African American in the country, if not the world. I would love for Dick Cheney, Michael Vick, and Adam Jones to grab you, tie you to a chair and make you watch old reruns of The Jeffersons, Good Times and Sanford and Son.

But after they get done torturing you, I would love to find your kids (which makes me wonder how hammered a woman was to have your children) and slap the taste out of their mouths for calling you "Father." I would treat you the way you should be treated: The proverbial bitch that you are. Your radio show is the most regurgitating pile of crap ever to hit the airwaves.

I hope you do read this Imus because I want you to call me and tell me to apologize for my comments. The only thing that will happen is me calling your sorry @$$ out and telling you to bring me on the show just so I can tell you exactly what I think of you and your ignorant behavior.

Quite honestly, I could care less what anyone thinks of this column. This one is personal, and you all know why. So enjoy, hate, boycott. I really don't care. Get over it and move on.

That's my Mic Check! Who's next?!