Andy Rooney Does Sports

Mr. Jones and MeCorrespondent IJanuary 5, 2010

DETROIT - APRIL 06:  Tyler Hansbrough #50 of the North Carolina Tar Heels looks on while taking on the Michigan State Spartans during the 2009 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball National Championship game at Ford Field on April 6, 2009 in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

This past week as I watched Andy Rooney's segment on 60 Minutes, Rooney's Favorite Holiday if you are wondering, I had a wonderful thought.  What if Andy Rooney's Few Minutes were about sports.  Man, that would be funny.  It was inevitable that my brain would soon be spouting off sports related topics Andy would choose to cover.  So, I present to you lead-ins for A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney on Sports.

Why isn't anyone talking about Tyler Hansbrough for Athlete of the Decade?

I'm still waiting on last year's Christmas card from Tiger.

If I had to choose one Manning to lead my team, I'm taking Archie.

I can't be the only one who thinks football made a mistake by legalizing the forward pass!

What happened to the Broncos?  Last I heard they were still undefeated.

Finally convinced Mike Wallace to trade me JaMarcus Russell in our keeper league.

I just realized that the Deion Sanders on NFL GameDay is the same fella who played for the Cowboys a while back.

I still haven't seen anything from Usain Bolt that impresses me.

Tom Brady?  Really ladies?  Larry Bird, now there's a good looking man.

Jerry Jones called last week.  Said he watched the show, and I had a 40 foot hair growing out of my ear on the new Jumbotron.

If ESPN ever decides to do a World Series of Bridge, I'm all in baby.

Believe it or not, Lesley Stahl knows more about the NHL than Barry Melrose ever will.

Designated hitter?!  What's next, instant replay?!

I'm not the only one who can't tell the difference between Rick Majerus and Mark Mangino, right?

I still think Kobe and LeBron have nothing on Matt Bonner.

Andy Rooney is considered by many to be a national treasue.  Personally, I've never thought so.  However, if his few minutes were on sports, I'd tune in week after week.  So I plead to you almighty CBS, do us all a favor and shift Rooney's focus to sports.  You can reach me at...

Jon Schuman