Random Musings From A Bored Sports Fan

Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse more stories
Random Musings From A Bored Sports Fan
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

This article will probably never take off, but when I was a little kid I said I wanted to be a sports writer, so I owe it to myself to write this.  As the title suggests, I will be spouting off random thoughts on the current state of sports, which will range from funny (probably more to me than you), insightful, self-indulging, self-defeating, pointless, but most certainly and always, random.  So here goes nothing...

I am probably going to piss off a lot of Europeans with this comment, but arguing that Lance Armstrong is the athlete of the decade is a joke.  Comparing cycling to football, baseball, golf, even hockey, is like comparing Kias to BMWs.  According to some article I read he isn't even the greatest cyclist of all time.  No, I did not know there were any other cyclist either!

Every time I want to start feeling bad for JaMarcus Russell, he does something that changes my mind.  Plus he makes a heck of a lot more money than I do. Oakland fans are brutal to him though.

Fantasy baseball officially became cooler than real baseball when John Lackey signed with the Red Sox.  I am not sure why that was the particular deal that put it over the top, but when I heard about the Lackey signing it somehow become an offical registered statistic in my brain.  This will remain an official statistic until baseball installs a salary cap or the Pittsburgh Pirates win the World Series, and no, I am not a Pirates fan. 

Speaking of fantasy sports, I vote to eliminate the existance of all head-to-head fantasy leagues in all sports.  There is just too much luck involved.  However, if someone could devise a system for football in which your defense's performance actually impacts the scores of your opponents offensive players, I'm game. 

When Player X's identity is revealed, as it inevitabley will be, we are all going to be hugely disappointed.  Most likely it's some offensive lineman who we heard of once because the announcers on Monday Night Football once circled him in yellow during a replay so we could be sure we know which guy to watch DeMarcus Ware run past on his way to crushing some poor QB.

One question Tiger...What where you thinking?  Not about cheating on Elin, I mean Swedish models are a dime a dozen after all, but at least 2 or 3 of those girl where downright fugly. 

I have a solution to the Coach Cal-Coach Knight feud.  MMA style fight to the death.  Then in the middle of the first round you release the tiger (not that Tiger) from The Hangover into the ring and let it eat them both.  Everyone wins.

Chargers over Packers...I'm just saying.

I truly think Chad Ochocinco is a genius.  In fact, he so smart he is pretending not the be smart, so that later he can prove us wrong by actually being smart, so that he can rub it in our faces, and change his name to Chad I Told You So.  And oh, if you think he wasn't genuine about the Chris Henry thing, you're wrong.  Say what you will about the guy, but he has a big heart.

Is it wrong that my loyalties in college football have more to do with my desire to see the BCS look like a joke than to any particular team?  And President Obama, I thought you were going to do something about the BCS.  Main reason I voted for the guy.  Damn terrorism keeps getting in the way.

Brian Kelly, you should be ashamed of yourself.  NCAA, you should be even more ashamed of yourself for letting it happen.  Change the rule, or at least allow the seniors from the team whose coach is departing one free shot before the guy skips town to take a job at a school who won 6 fewer games than you did.  That seems fair.

Texas Tech situation...eh, whatever. 

I vow that this will be the only time I EVER mention NASCAR in this article, and not only because this will probably be the only article I write.

One last thought before I go...Let's be honest, no one missed John Madden

So there you have it, my first attempt as a sports writer (although I vaguely remember writing an article for my middle school newspaper about a Park and Rec. basketball game that I also played in).  Here is the deal I am willing to make...If 5, yes 5, people read this I will write another one.  Thanks for reading, I hope it was worth the 5 minutes.  Any comments, positive or negative, would be greatly appreciated.

 

Jon Schuman

smallface99@yahoo.com 

Load More Stories

Follow B/R on Facebook

Out of Bounds