Sticky Toffee Pudding

Tim OatesCorrespondent IDecember 30, 2009

Sticky toffee pudding is a British dessert consisting of a moist sponge cake covered in a toffee sauce. This is the definition you would find in the dictionary. So what does this have to do with Everton Football Club? 


Well, Everton seem to have found themselves in a sticky situation this season. ‘The toffees,’ as they are affectionately known, are normally hard as rock, similar to the sweet, with a fifth place finish in last season's table.


One can’t help thinking that the Everton players have been playing on sponge cake this season with there catastrophic long list of injuries. Manager David Moyes has said he has never seen anything like it.


Physio, Mick Rathbone said,  “I have been a physio for 14 years and I have never known anything like this with so many serious injuries in one go."


Many have called the slump in form this season due to the sale of central defender Joleon Lescott to decadent-spending Manchester City. This missing ingredient has been replaced by able replacement Johnny Heitinga, Sylvain Distin, and Lucas Neill.


The poor woodcutter (David Moyes) sent his son (Joleon Lescott) to the land of candy but with the pennies received could buy three gingerbread men and an unpolished Russian prince. 


Now you might say that the sponge cake scenario poses a few problems but nothing some toffee sauce can’t help. Everton will be entering the new year in the bottom half of the table with plenty of room for improvement.


With a revitalised squad, due to the clean up of the injury table, the new year should only herald better things from ‘the toffees’. Pessimist might look to the African Cup of Nations as a distraction for a few Everton players, but one can be thankful that South Africa didn’t qualify for the competition as Steven Pienaar has become a talisman for the blue side of Mersey.


A constant backline and a return of club captain, Phil Neville and midfield genius Mikel Arteta can only improve their league positions. Remember, there is still the glitz and glam of the Europa League to look forward to as Everton take on Sporting Lisbon.


As the fairytale goes, we hope that the sticky toffee pudding doesn’t suffer the fate of his cousin the gingerbread man.


"I'm quarter gone...I'm half gone...I'm three-quarters gone...I'm all gone!


Better yet, if football follows the path of fantasy stories, the wicked witch of Eastalnds will be killed and the children set free.