Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
Two of the best quarterbacks never to have won a Super Bowl face off in San Diego, as Donovan McNabb leads the Eagle against Philip Rivers and the Chargers. Both teams are 5-3 and in second in their respective divisions.
"I guess Donovan and I both have 'monkeys' on our backs," says Philip Rivers. "We're both looking to rid ourselves of animals. Obviously, McNabb's had more success leaving wildlife behind, because he's left 'yak' on the field on numerous occasions."
"Now, before information gets skewed, let's just clarify that Lawrence Taylor was the 'L.T.' arrested a few days ago for leaving the scene of an accident. It wasn't LaDainian Tomlinson. It couldn't have been. Heck, LaDainian almost always stops on contact."
Without the versatility of Brian Westbrook, the Eagles' offense was simply "pedestrian" in last week's 20-16 loss to the Cowboys. That would explain why David Akers "walked" on to the field for three field goals, as the offense stalled. Red zone efficiency will be tantamount to success in Sunday's contest in San Diego.
"Tantamount?" says Donovan McNabb. "I love that word, especially when used as a verb. Anyway, we need this game just as badly as the Chargers. And, in case anyone's forgotten, particularly a former felon who thinks he deserves more playing time, the quarterback of this team is named 'Mc Nabb,' not 'Vc Nabb.'"
Eagles win, 26-23.