Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Just Needs His Own Country Song (Satire)

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Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Just Needs His Own Country Song (Satire)
(Photo by Geoff Burke/Getty Images for NASCAR)

Dale Earnhardt, Jr., NASCAR's most popular driver, will be one of the celebrities attending the upcoming CMA awards on Nov. 11 in Nashville. Junior admits to being a lover of country music since his upbringing in North Carolina.

"I remember listening to all the greats, Johnny Cash, Wille Nelson, Waylon Jennings, and Hank Williams, Jr.", Junior said.  "Dwight Yokum is also really cool."

One of the highlights for Junior has been meeting country star Dierks Bentley. "Dierks was great, and we've become really good friends," Junior said.

"I think he came to a race or two and we walked up on pit road."

Junior, who just turned 35 years old, admits that he has a number of country songs that he listens to on his Ipod. Some of the songs include "I'm Gonna Hire a Wino (To Decorate Our Home)," "Redneck Girl," and "Louisiana Saturday Night."

While Junior is a country music fan, his life and race career lately could also be the fodder of a good country music song. NASCAR's most visible driver is currently mired in the 22nd position in the points standings and has finished no higher than 17th in the last seven races.

While Junior watches his three other Hendrick Motorsports teammates competing for the championship, he continues to struggle.  Even a crew chief change, from his cousin Tony Eury, Jr. to Lance McGrew, has not seemed to improve Junior's performance on the track.

Junior has also had terrible luck in many of the races. From electrical problems to issues in the pits, he and his No. 88 AMP Energy drink team have not been able to secure any consistency to get even one good race finish late in the season.

So, what does Junior need to turn his season around?  Since he is such a country music fan, maybe Junior just needs his own country song to pour out his frustrations.

To that end, here is the musical styling and lyrics to my country western song, entitled "Driving at the End of My Rope," dedicated to Dale Earnhardt, Jr. May it make him at least smile and perhaps even put a spring back in his step.

"Driving at the End of My Rope"

I'm driving, yes I'm driving

With all my heart and soul.

I'm driving yes I'm driving

But I can't get out of this hole.

This season has been a nightmare

With ups and downs galore.

I've even changed my crew chief

I just can't take much more.

My teammates all surpass me

And get to run the Chase.

I'd give anything to beat them

And actually win a race.

I've had so many problems

It's almost like a curse.

My car has broke; my wires are crossed

It just can't get much worse.

And then I miss my pit stall

Start at the back of the pack.

I can't believe I'm out again

And moving further back.

I'm driving, yes I'm driving

With all my heart and soul.

I'm driving, yes I'm driving

But I can't get out of this hole.

I'm driving, yes I'm driving

But I'm at the end of my rope.

Please God give me a good finish

Then maybe I'll have some hope.

Rumor has it that Carrie Underwood will perform this one at the upcoming CMA awards ceremony. There is no doubt that she will take home the CMA Entertainer of the Year award with this new Junior song.

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