I was watching a re-run of the MTV Movie Awards this morning (don't judge me, there is nothing on daytime TV) and besides Adam Sandler's hilarious self-loving song, I also noticed Johnny Depp receive two awards.
Now I am not going to sit here and tell you how dreamy he is because honestly, I don't get it, but for some reason, the ladies love him.
During both of his speeches, he didn't get out more than three words at a time because the screams from the ladies were relentless.
Now as I was initially watched this with his dumb, cocky smile (shown above), I thought, "What a cocky, lucky, son of a ( expletive)."
But as he recieved his second award, I realized something as the ladies cheered him yet again.
Certain star athletes can take a page out of his book. Just let the fans cheer, say a few words here and there, and don't say anything too stupid.
Hell, if Johnny Depp can do it, it can't be THAT hard. The first athlete I would like to do this is Chad Johnson.
The guy is so talented, he can just let his play speak for itself. I'm not saying don't dance, because 99% of people love it, and that would make the cheers even louder.
He spent the entire off-season demanding a trade, before he finally said that he would be in Cincy by the end of the month.
Now, if he had just said very few words while everybody adored him, he would be coming into camp ready to play without any ill will from the coaches or players.
Next player, Jason Taylor.
He's been kind of demanding a trade without demanding a trade and saying he will settle for Miami and really just pissing off new Miami management.
But he was the most beloved player in Miami before this whole debacle, and if he had just done his dancing, apologized for not being in camp early, and gone back into his role as a clubhouse leader, everything would be fine.
And to those who don't think that they can be quiet without hundreds of fans yelling constantly, just hire a hundred people to sit in the back of the press conference room that will start to cheer if they sense you saying something stupid.
Say you want to demand a trade, but you really don't have that much leverage, they start to yell as soon as you start to bad mouth the management.
Anyway you spin it, these guys need to "Just Shut Up."
I'm Joe W.
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4 months ago
Nice, Joe. This is funny but also makes an excellent point. I like Greenie and Golic and every Tuesday (I think it's Tuesday) they have the "Just Shut Up" awards.
Jason, Chad and about a million other athletes would be wise to follow the example of Captain Jack Sparrow!
from 4 months ago
Thanks Greg, I also enjoy "Just Shut Up" whenever I get a chance.
4 months ago
Please make this a regular feature Mr. 100. "Just Shut Up" isn't original, but it's funny.
from 4 months ago
I kinda stole it from Greg's comment above. Thanks Greg!
4 months ago
You are so ignorant! Johnny Depp is the most shy, unconfident celebrity there is, with low self-esteem and the opposite of cocky, which is why he says few words! You obviously know nothing about the man, even though its common knowledge that he is not self confident, so I though i would enlighten you...
"I'm shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I've done everything I can to avoid it."
"As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition, too."
from 4 months ago
Here's a few more Johnny Depp quotes:
"No, Kiran. You absolutely CANNOT have my phone number!"
"The restraining order clearly states 100 yards!"
"If my dog doesn't turn up by this time tomorrow, you will be hearing from my lawyer!"
from 4 months ago
I think the point is that Depp didn't say a whole lot at the MTV awards and that athletes would be wise to do the same thing.
I have a hard time believing Cap'n Jack has "low self-esteem"--no matter what he says. He's an actor and he could be playing us. Think about it. Everyone he comes in contact with him smooches his rear end and tells him how great he is--after awhile, he's going to start believing it. It doesn't make him bad...just human.
Incidentally, the same thing happens to athletes. They start looking at their stats, hearing that they're unstoppable and they just keep talking because they think we all want to hear it.
When all we really want is for them to shut up and play the games--we'd much rather hear ourselves!
from 4 months ago
Thank you Jim and Greg.
4 months ago
But Greg Johnny doesn't have this giant ego that athletes seem to aguire. He has been an actor for 20 years and is more hubble now then he was in his early career. He is one of a kind and I am glad you appreciated his few words approach so did I.
4 months ago
I've been following Depp's career since Edward Scissorhands and IMO his humility is not an act.
4 months ago
Joe, just because someone defends a celebrity because they were wrongly accussed of being up his own ass, it doesn't mean they are obsessed with him - you're just proving how ridiculus you are and how you again are incorrectly assuming something about someones character whom you know absolutely nothing about.
from 4 months ago
Where do I say somebody is obsessed with him and where do I attack anybodies character? Just curious.
4 months ago
Joe, just because someone defends a celebrity because they were wrongly accussed of being up his own ass, it doesn't mean they are obsessed with him - you're just proving how ridiculus you are and how you again are incorrectly assuming something about someones character whom you know absolutely nothing about.
4 months ago
Damn, lot's of Johnny Depp lovers out there. People really need to stop taking this stuff too seriously. When you see something labeled SATIRE it's usually just for fun.
4 months ago
I meant jim, sorry.
from 4 months ago
In Jim's defense, he was probably joking, get a sense of humor.
4 months ago
oh yeah, i forgot how funny stereotyping is. Ha.
from 4 months ago
It is pretty funny, glad I'm not the only one that thinks so!
4 months ago
sure, it would be funny if it were true but because its wrong that just makes it pointless mate.
from 4 months ago
Pointless is funny...have you read my Rasheed Wallace article, totally pointless, but it's funny.
4 months ago
i thought that this article might refer to how Johnny Depp could teach some star athletes a thing or two by his tendency to take the non star acting roles. he likes to take the roles that are supporting. thats what hes normally done. he was on 'inside the actors studio'. if youve never seen it, im sure theyll rerun Depp again sometime. but its a very good show to see the true actors real identity, just good old down to earth. if the star athletes took more of this part of his character that would make them better and plus they would never look like a bunch of whiners wanting to be the main focus. if these star athletes took the supporting role athlete they would get a better offer w/out having to say anything thats why Depp doesnt look to be the main guy hes just wanting to be the humble sidekick, but his great acting makes directors wanting some star roles out of him.
4 months ago
Depp's getting way too much play in the comment thread. This isn't about him, but what athletes can learn from him. And it's a humor piece. And it's funny.
Kiran, something doesn't have to be true or even based in fact to be funny. Jerry Seinfeld made nine seasons of great TV about pretty much nothing. And SNL's still kickin' around.
And we have writers like Joe, Jim and me here!
4 months ago
First of all, stereotyping isn't always bad. If you are walking down the street in the middle of the night, and on one side you see a group of young men with tattoos and leather jackets, and on the other you see a group of old ladies carrying Bibles, I already know which side of the street you will gravitate towards.
Second of all, Kiran joined B/R the day this humor article was written, willfully ignored the point behind the satire, lectured the author after calling him ignorant, has only four comments (all on this thread), has not written any articles, and has not edited anything.
Forgive me for "stereotyping" her as someone who spends alot of time Googling "Johnny Depp" and then griping about those who do not worship him.
*sigh*
Sorry, Greg. You're right about this thread going over the "Depp" end. But gosh, it's supposed to be the humor section, right?
(And sorry, Joe. Didn't mean to cause a petty flame on your very funny article.)
from 4 months ago
Thank you, Brother Jim...
Wait a second...you'd be hanging out with the tatted-up dudes...
...Who probably just got out of church.
from 4 months ago
Don't forget that the old ladies probably have knives in their bibles. And don't worry about causing a petty flame, I forgive you.
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