Chip Kelly Unveils Waffle Soul To Rival Nike

Chip Kelly is weak.

First he drops the hammer on his star running back, suspending the volatile LeGarrette Blount for the remainder of the college football season.

Then, barely one month later, the head coach of the Oregon Ducks backtracks on his honorable defense of good character by stating that Blount could be back playing by November 7, enough time to get in four regular season games.

What happened to your balls, Chip?

Kelly’s immediate reaction to Blount’s attack on Boise State defensive lineman Byron Hout, however severe, was one made with conviction and a seemingly rational digestion of the events that took place during the season’s first week.

Blount, a senior running back, threw a punch at Hout during the postgame handshake after the Ducks’ loss to the Broncos on September 3. The punch landed directly on Hout’s jaw, and a small skirmish ensued, forcing Oregon players to physically remove Blount from the field of play.

Blount, who refused to easily make his way to the team locker room, attempted to climb into the stands and confront opposing fans after his on-field display of machismo.

Though many onlookers felt that Kelly’s season-long banishment of Blount was too harsh a punishment, sports fans and media members alike could agree that the first-year head coach ultimately made the right move.

Now, however, Kelly’s wishy-washy attitude has diminished all the respect he once gained.

Memo to Chip Kelly: Once you give your say on a matter, it’s best to stick to your guns.

If LeGarrette Blount takes the field for the University of Oregon for even one more play this season, it will send the wrong message to all parties involved with the situation.

Blount will be blessed with an unwarranted second chance, his teammates will realize that anything goes, and Chip Kelly will have undermined his very own authority.

Oregon’s parent company may have patented the waffle sole, but Chip Kelly is reinventing a waffle soul of his own kind.