AARP Fires Back at Tiger Woods Over Retirement Comments

Tiger Woods had a historically rough first round at The Open Championship on Thursday afternoon in Scotland.

After continually struggling to find the green, Woods signed off on a 76-stroke scorecard at the end of the day—his worst outing at St. Andrews in four Opens at the Old Course.

Woods' poor round comes two days after he tossed out an old-age joke in response to questions about the possibility of his retiring early.

At a Tuesday press conference, Woods was asked if he ever felt like hanging up his cleats in light of his recent struggles. He responded by reminding reporters he's 39 years old—not old enough for an AARP card and too young to walk away from the game.

David J. Phillip/Associated Press

Haha. AARP is for old people. That's an old-person joke.

Welp, AARP checks its mentions, guys.

After hearing Woods' comments, the retirement advocacy group put down the Werther's and waited, biding its time in search of the right moment to return fire.

Woods' terrible first round gave AARP just the moment it needed to affix bayonets and charge:

And that is where Woods is right now: near the bottom of the standings, being "ethered" by an organization dedicated to providing affordable medical insurance for those of advanced age.

That's a low place to be—about a nine on the Washed-o-Meter, as it doesn't get much more thoroughly laundered than that.

Dan is on Twitter. Life comes at you fast, guys.