Dude...the walls in the major leagues don't give way, buddy.
Seriously, if Sam Fuld and Jake Fox don't start every game the rest of the season, then Lou should be FIRED for the first time in his career.
When Randy Wells gave my daughter a baseball at a recent Padres game as she waited along the center field fence, I had to double check to make sure it wasn't Kevin Gregg, since usually it's his balls that sail so easily over the outfield fence.
Jay Johnstone, where are you? We need some humor around here. This $hit is not funny anymore.
You know something went wrong when Theriot has two fewer home runs than your "left handed hitting savior" Milton Bradley. And Theriot has seven.
It's scary when out of all the switch hitters on the roster—Koyie Hill, Milton Bradley and Aaron Miles—Carlos Zambrano is the best of all of them.
Would Carlos win a left-handed home run contest with Milton Bradley? Carlos has three home runs in 52 AB's while Milton has nine home runs in 315 AB's.
After watching Soriano's defense the last few years, who here wouldn't DIE to have Juan Pierre back?! Is Soriano the most disliked Cubs player since Todd Hundley?
The two of them have a lot in common. A few monster seasons during steroid eras and then a downfall. I'm not saying either of them juiced. I'm just saying...
Jake Fox has almost IDENTICAL stats as Aramis Ramirez this season, yet Fox can't play on a regular basis?
Sam Fuld was diagnosed with type one diabetes at age 10. He plays the game with an intensity like someone else who has type one diabetes...Mr. Santo...
What kind of press conference would Lee Elia hold if he were the manager this year instead of Lou? Those would be entertaining.
Is Lee Smith doing anything these days? We need a lights out closer and haven't had one since he left!
The refusal to play young kids drives me crazy, but then again, in the '80s, we traded away Joe Carter and Rafael Palmeiro.
I think Geo Soto is on the Hector Villanueva diet plan.
Speaking of Geo, he has as many home runs this year as fatties he smoked during the WBC.
Soriano makes George Bell look like a gold glover.
It is a toss-up as to where Kevin Gregg ranks as worst closer for the Cubs. He definitely gets tied to the names of Latroy Hawkins and Dave Smith forever.
Heck...I might even take Candy Maldonado or Kal Daniels in LF, or even Glenallen Hill ahead of Soriano. Even Luis Gonzalez wasn't this bad to watch out there.
"Oh Henry," where have you gone??
Maybe Soriano should lose the batting gloves and start urinating on his hands. Hell, Randall Simon moved around better than Soriano!
If any year we should have had Mickey Morandini on our team, it should have been this year. Lou has gone GOOFY on us.
I read somewhere that we have led the MAJORS in strikeouts every season since Larry Rothschild has been pitching coach! That's awesome!
I also read somewhere that over the course of that same period, we blew out the arms of Kerry Wood and Mark Prior, and Carlos Zambrano hasn't been the same the past couple years either. That sucks!
I think the last time Carlos Zambrano threw anything and hit his location was his uppercut to Michael Barrett's Jaw.
Bob Brenly noted the other day, in regard to Soriano's free swinging, that "he would have been hit by the pitch if he batted lefty."
I'm waiting for the day that Soriano swings and misses on a pickoff throw to first.
I think I heard fans calling for Jacque Jones to come back.
Exactly what is Ed Lynch's job description with the Cubs these days? Jim Hendry might want to rewrite that job description—while he still has the power to do so.
Somehow, Aaron Miles has managed to almost equal his AB's (146) with his batting average (.178). Sweet. And we gave him a two-year 4.9 MILLION dollar contract?
Mark DeRosa, please wipe that smile off your face.
Suddenly, Jim Hendry has a plethora of voice mails from middle infielders who guarantee they could match that production. I've heard the names Paul Noce and Mike Brumley tossed around.
This just in from the "stick it to Jim Hendry" files: Jason Marquis is 14-8 with a 3.58 ERA playing for COLORADO. Oh, and by the way, he thanks the Cubs for the almost $1 million in salary we are paying for this year.
Did you know Soriano actually has a $75,000 clause in his contract for a bonus for a Gold Glove? At least Hendry has a sense of humor.
I thought I just saw a shooting star...then realized Kevin Gregg was pitching again.