A Great Reason Not to Smoke: Quitting Causes Nightmares!

Nick Signorelli by Senior Analyst Written on August 11, 2009
NEW YORK - APRIL 24:  Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is seen after being selected 11th overall by the Pittsburgh Steelers during the 2004 NFL Draft on April 24, 2004 at Madison Square Garden in New York City.  (Photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images) (Photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images)

Recently I decided to quit smoking. It is a nasty habit, but near impossible to quit, at least without some help.

I went to a doctor prior to leaving Florida, and he gave me a prescription that would help me. I decided that my best chance to succeed would be to wait until I was settled in Pittsburgh.

The doctor warned me that one of the side effects was the possibilities of nightmares. I had no idea how right he would be.

Last night, as I fell asleep, and faded into my "happy place", things just didn't seem right.

I was taken back to 2004. I was sitting in my living room with my son, watching the NFL Draft. It started out just like the real draft, then things got very strange.

When the Detroit Lions were on the clock, and they traded with the Browns, the nightmare began.

Paul Tagliabue walked across the stage, and said, "With the sixth pick in the NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select, quarterback out of Miami of Ohio, Ben Roethlisberger."

My jaw hit the floor.

Then in my dream, I was fast forwarded to the Steelers pick, and again Taglibue was walking across the stage, and said, "With the 11th pick of the NFL Draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers select, J.P. Losman..."

At this point, my dream starts fast forwarding through the last five years, only stopping briefly here and there, to show me what happens with the Browns and Steelers.

In 2005, Ben Roethlisberger leads the Browns to their best record since returning to the NFL. J.P. Losman, replacing an injured Tommy Maddox, finishes the season 1-5, before being benched for Charlie Batch.

In 2006, Pittsburgh, drafting 10th, selects QB Aaron Rogers. Cleveland wins the division for the second time in a row, making it to the AFC Championship game, losing to the Broncos.

Cleveland loses to Seattle in the Super Bowl in 2007, while Pittsburgh finishes 8-8.

Finally in 2008, my dream stops at the AFC Championship game, Cleveland at Pittsburgh, as Ben Roethlisberger is running on to the field in a Browns uniform, there is an earthquake.

The stadium starts to shake, until I realize it is my wife, shaking me, trying to wake me up.

She said "Honey, what is wrong? You keep screaming and saying NO, NO, NO?"

Ignoring her, I jumped up, ran to my trusty computer, and saw it was all just a dream.  None of it was real.

Big Ben is still a Steeler, J.P. Losman is playing in the UFL, and the Cleveland Browns still suck.

This must be how Dorothy felt when she was back in Kansas. There is no place like home!

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written on August 11, 2009 Humor

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