7 Times Joel Embiid Tried to Quit Twitter

Matt HaupertFeatured ColumnistAugust 5, 2014

7 Times Joel Embiid Tried to Quit Twitter

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    Mark J. Terrill/Associated Press

    Addiction is a challenge to overcome, and according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, "quitting takes more than good intentions or a strong will."

    Philadelphia 76ers rookie Joel Embiid has learned this the hard way in his recent failed attempts to shake off his addiction to Twitter.

    Seven times in the past month Embiid has announced his departure from social media. Seven times he has come right back.

    Thousands of followers have been right there for his entire journey, and most of them have undoubtedly breathed a sigh of relief every time the big man has returned, as he has very quickly become one of the most entertaining professional athletes on the Internet.

    Embiid's future is in question: Will he finally quit his habit? Will he eventually stop trying?

    Whatever the case, his past is a story we should all know and understand.

    Let us start at the beginning.

July 4

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    It was Independence Day this year when Joel Embiid first decided he needed a break from Twitter, just a few short days after he had officially been selected as the newest member of the Philadelphia 76ers.

    Embiid's following had grown, and his habit for sharing his thoughts on the social media site had become a habit.

    It was time to step away before it was too late.

    Taking a break off twitter..... see yall in a couple weeks #EMB11D #TogetherWeBuild

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 4, 2014

Later That Day

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    Well, apparently it was already too late.

    Embiid was back—on the same day—with a groundbreaking announcement about the loyalty of girls, not quite keeping up with his promise to step away for "a couple weeks."

    I'm back and the news I just got....... Man these girls ain't loyal😠😠

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 4, 2014

    How many minutes are in a week again? Hmm.

    Anyway, sorry about those girls, Joel. Hopefully you'll have more success with them than you have with quitting your Twitter habit.

    Little did we know that this would be the beginning of a slippery slope for the lovable center from Cameroon.

July 8

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    Four days later.

    No more playing around.

    With a long rehabilitation program looming in the future and an NBA dream to turn into a reality, Twitter could no longer hold such a strong place in Embiid's heart.

    I'm out... See y'all when I'm back to playing NBA Basketball— Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 8, 2014

    The next time Embiid would take to Twitter, his injury would be in the past, and he would be mere hours from setting foot on an NBA court to get his first real game action.

Three Days Later

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    Oh, come on, Joel! You made it three days this time! That's three more days than your previous record!

    Unfortunately, LeBron James' announcement that he'd be returning to the Cavaliers was too much for Embiid to keep quiet about.

    The rookie had been doing his best to recruit the superstar to Philadelphia, but somehow, his social media recruitment tactics weren't enough to lure James to the 76ers.

    Embiid, in a moment of deep self-reflection, accepted the fact that his efforts had been in vain.

    I guess my recruiting skills didn't work

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 11, 2014

    His efforts to quit Twitter had also been in vain, as Embiid continued tweeting at will with no recollection of his grand farewell from just a few days earlier.

July 16

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    Third time's the charm. July 16 and Embiid was out again. This time, however, he played it safe, saying nothing specific about how long his break would be.

    I must go on another break peace

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 16, 2014

    How long would the world have to go on without Embiid's constant posts on Twitter? Would it be a week? A month? A year? 

    God forbid, an eternity?

One Day Later

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    Nope. Just a day. Those ESPYs were too tempting. Too much to ignore. To important to remain silent.

    I wanna tweet so bad about the espys but I'm supposed to be out bye

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 17, 2014

    Is it all a tease? Is he really trying to quit? Is he trolling us all?

July 17

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    Two days, two attempts at quitting Twitter. For the first time, we realize this is becoming a problem. Embiid can't quit. He can't shake the habit. He can't turn over a new leaf and begin again.

    But he'll keep trying. He does sound super serious this time. Will this actually be the last we hear of Joel Embiid for a long time?

    Media is bad, really bad....... can mess your life up!!!! Use it wisely #EMB11Dsadvice I'm really out now for a while.

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 17, 2014

Later That Day

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    Nope. Not even for a day.

    Oh and one last thing I'm just a blessed kid enjoying life in the US

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 17, 2014

    "One last thing" isn't going to cut it, Joel. You could share "one last things" forever and it won't get you anywhere.

    At this point, the struggle is real. Embiid has sunk further into his addiction with each passing day.

    Is this the beginning of the end?

July 18

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    The fight continues. Another day, another vow to quell his inner demons.

    No more tweeting until he's back to playing basketball (like we've never heard that before)! It's time to focus! It's time to train! It's time to start taking your dreams seriously, Joel!

    Say no to Twitter! Say no to Twitter! Say no to Twitter!

    Alright I'm out until I'm back on the court. Deleting twitter on my phone but I need some more #EMB11DsADVICE.Gonna check it on the computer

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 18, 2014

    Or... uh... Say no to Twitter on the phone but not the computer! Say no to Twitter on the phone but not the computer! Say no to Twitter on the phone but not the computer!

Four Days Later

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    I wanna tweet so badly but I can’t

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 22, 2014

    TWEETING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO TWEET STILL COUNTS AS TWEETING! WE ARE GETTING NOWHERE! I REPEAT, WE ARE GETTING NOWHERE!

July 25

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    A week passes us by, Embiid tweeting regularly as if he's given up all hopes of moving on and beginning his new life.

    Perhaps he's accepted defeat. Perhaps he has become so deeply dependent on his Twitter that he simply can't remember how to live without it.

    Perhaps this battle that we've all become so invested in is a lost cause.

    Or maybe, just when we've all given up hope, a glimmer of possibility rises up from the ashes...

    Embiid does the impossible. He spites his doubters, he gives his supporters new life. He makes one more vow to leave, with no estimate at all for his return.

    Perhaps this is the end?

    I’m out.....  I don’t know how long but I’M OUT

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 25, 2014

Four Days Later

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    Leave it up to The Bachelorette to crush a guy's dream.

    After four days of successful Twitter abstinence, Andi Dorfman has swooped in out of nowhere and created a news story so relevant, so powerful and so inspiring that Embiid had no choice but to make a joke about it.

    SPOILER ALERT: In a shocking turn of events @AndiDorfman has CHOSEN Joel EMBIID over josh and nick #TheBachelorettepic.twitter.com/MMlhFu5N6d

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 29, 2014

August 1

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    Dare we believe him any more? Dare we place our hopes in Embiid's great fight?

    Once more, the rookie claims to say goodbye.

    Will he finally shake the addiction that has haunted him for the past month, or will he once again return to Twitter, a victim of a habit that he wasn't strong enough to shake?

    Alright I’m Off twitter for a couple weeks. Trying to be GREAT and thinking about deleting my twitter. See y’all in heaven

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) August 1, 2014

Later That Day

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    Well, that didn't last long.

    I’m mad at y’all man. Y’all just think about yourselves and y’all don’t want me to be GREAT!! BYE😔😪😥😤😤 #truestory

    — Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) August 1, 2014

    And if you're looking for an update, Embiid has tweeted plentifully since August 1.

    The end is not in sight.

    Join the fight. Help Joel Embiid conquer his demons and quit the social media website that he has tried to quit so many times.

    He can't do it alone.


    For what it's worth, I'm not trying to quit Twitter: