“Ahh, I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, lost some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Thanks!”
-Bill Lumberg “Office Space”
It’s that time of the season again. It’s time for the super secret closed door meeting where Jerry Manuel locks the clubhouse door and reminds the Mets about why they need to put cover sheets on their TPS reports.
Do these meetings do anything? The Mets won yesterday. Maybe they should have a meeting before every game. What is really said in these meetings? Does the manager have to remind the million dollar ballplayers how to throw, catch and hit a baseball?
If you ask me, they are just using these closed door meetings as an excuse to bring “exotic” entertainers into the clubhouse. I’m sure somebody on the team still has Lenny Harris’ phone number. For all we know they are having a poker tournament in there.
Because we never get to see these meetings we are forced to use our imaginations. I like to imagine Jerry Manuel walking around the clubhouse with his coffee in hand giving Bill Lumberg style pep talks to his players.
“Uhhh yeah listen David. If you could um make sure your throws actually reach the first baseman that would be great.”
“You see Fernando if you could try to just umm…make one or fewer outs when batting instead of the usual two we would really appreciate that.”
“Gary, I'm going to need you to go ahead and play on Sunday too. You see we umm lost some players this week and we need to sort of play catch up.”
“You should always ask yourself; Is this good for the team?”
Whatever went on in the clubhouse, the real winners are sports radio and TV hosts as they should be able to stretch this farce into at least two days of pontification about whether this was the right time to have the meeting. Should it have been sooner?
No championship is ever won in a meeting. If the Mets can turn their season around it will be done on the field and not in a meeting room.
But hey, I guess this is New York and we need something to talk about.
Which reminds me, this Friday will be Hawaiian Shirt Day. So feel free to wear a Hawaiian shirt...and jeans.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!