The All-Presidential Basketball Team

Starting at Center, a 6'4 giant of a man, hailing from Springfield, Ill., your 16th president..."Honest" Abraham Lincoln.

• The man would fill the role of a Dikembe Mutombo/Hakeem. Decent inside post moves, but there mostly for rebounding, defending, and blocking shots.
• Best postgame interview quote: "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Interpretation: Abe knows that unity and working as a team is the only way to win the championship. He was a wise man.

At Power Forward, coming in at 6'2 from Shadwell, Va, putting the "old" in "old school," Thomas Jefferson.

• Jefferson fits the sort of Charles Barkley mold. Undersized, but a fighter who uses his brain as much as his brawn, at least in basketball terms. Besides, the man wrote the Declaration of Independence so you know he can write the book on defense.
• Best postgame interview quote: "Delay is preferable to error." Interpretation: The team must be patient. Do not rush shots on offense or go for an ill-advised steal on defense. That said, we think that too much delay results in a shot clock violation...they didn't have that back in his day, so we will give him a pass.

At Small Forward, he stands 6'2 and comes all the way from Honolulu, Hawaii, our current president and team captain, Barack Obama.

• Obama is our go-to option. If compared to an NBA player at this position, I would focus on Larry Bird or maybe LeBron James. He can hit the outside jumper, he can post up, and his defense should be pesky due to his length.
• Best postgame interview quote:"I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody." Interpretation: Obvious choice for such a well-rounded ball player. It displays his willingness to pass the ball and shows his ability to lead a team by trusting in his teammates and getting everyone involved.

Playing Shooting Guard and standing 6'1, he comes from Waxhaws (in one of the Carolinas) and brings some real grit to the team, the Seventh President, Andrew Jackson.

• Tough and determined with a solid shooting stroke, Jackson fills the role of a Joe Dumars. Lockdown defender and a clutch shooter but also doesn't need the ball to be effective.
• Best postgame interview quote: "I have always been afraid of banks." Interpretation: The man is cocky. He doesn't believe in using the backboard.

And at point guard, from Brookline, Mass., standing 6'0 even, the 35th president and one of the most popular, John F. Kennedy.

• If he can run the U.S. government, he can run the point. He was considered a man of vision and inner strength. So he is like John Stockton, great court vision and the mental and physical toughness to lead this star-studded squad.
• Best postgame interview quote: "Sure it's a big job; but I don't know anyone who can do it better than I can." Interpretation: No one can beat me. JFK is slick, smooth, smart, and what is more, he knows it. He can be modest when necessary. But when the game is on the line, he is the playmaker. He knows he can do it, and he knows that no one can stop him.

Reserves on the following page...

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