Big Winners, Losers

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What's Stinks In Here? Oh, It's The New York Mets!

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What's Stinks In Here? Oh, It's The New York Mets!
(Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

If Gil Hodges were alive tonight he’d be rolling in his grave.

Even Casey Stengel would have been dumbfounded if he were around to see the end of tonight’s game.

Luis Castillo can cure cancer, AIDS, stop global warming and save the auto industry but he will never be forgotten for his miscue in the Bandbox in the Bronx tonight.

God has a sick sense of humor. He wants to test the faith of Met fans by putting them through a plethora of unclearable hurdles. Met fans can only absorb so much punishment before they just collapse, which is becoming all too commonplace around here.

How bad do the Mets suck?

* So bad that they should let that idiot Baba-booey play 2B
* So bad that the FAA is going keep the geese around LaGuardia and start euthanizing Met players
* Where’s Joe Foy when you need him?
* The Mets make the Knicks look like the ‘27 Yankees
* I don’t care anymore, I’d rather do 20 years in a Turkish prison than watch another game

Usually the team collapses. Now everything’s collapsing. Players are going down to injury one-by-one leaving the masses to question, “Is there a doctor in the house?” I think the Mets’ team doctors are the cast from Scrubs. How appropos. What a bunch of quacks.

We had the Yankees beat! In Yankee Stadium! We beat Mariano Rivera!

Then we gave it away in a manner that not even Disney would dare attempt. Neither would Laurel and Hardy.

What’s next, Mets? What’s next?

First, Jerry’s gotta go. I’m done with this guy trying to explain away the inexplicable. He should get in the NY State Senate. He’d fit right in. Screw the public and then laugh about it.

Will the Wilpons have the balls—or brains—to bring back Bobby V?

It’s about time SOMETHING GOOD happened around here

My liver is about to have a blowout trying to drink away all of these pathetic losses. But as badly damaged and pummelled that organ has gotten this season, it is the Mets that are suffering from cirrhosis. It is them that is emanating that stenchy odor…..

(if this article appears to sound as if I am pissed—you read it correctly)

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