FIve Signs You Are a Sports Maniac

Chris BallayCorrespondent IApril 24, 2008

I have come to realize I am not a normal sports fan.

I do not just watch sporting events, I live them. I am a sports maniac and it has been 153 days since my last explosion at the television. (Gulp. LSU's triple overtime loss to Arkansas on Nov. 23, 2007, to be exact.)

Anyways, it has been through thorough research that I have come up with five, that's right five basic rules/signs that correctly classify someone, such as me, as a sports maniac.

If you answer "Yes" to any one of these, you are a sports maniac. The more times you say "Yes," the more of a maniac you are.

Enjoy and by the way I said "Yes" to all five.

5. When Your Team Loses, You Are in Depression for a Week

This is a big one, especially when it comes to LSU football. When my team loses, everything else just stinks.

What's that? we are having steak for Sunday's family dinner? Doesn't matter, they lost!

Sweet I have no school this Friday! Doesn't matter, they lost. When your team loses, the world stops revolving. I am sure that is a scientific fact.

4. You Imagine yourself as a Superstar Athlete During Your Sporting Endeavors

It's a nice, friendly came of touch football in the backyard, but not for you. Oh, heck no!

Why, you are Peyton Manning directing the offense ready to win the game! Call the signals and watch for that pass rush from your younger brother who seems to be switching up the defense!

And remember, stay composed! Do not let the three people on the sidelines talking distract you!

3. When You Lose In a Meaningless Sports Game, You Blow It Out of Proportion

The pickup basketball game is going great. It's two of your buddies and you versus three other guys. Next basket wins.

Your buddy gambles on defense and you lose the game. You are devastated as victory was so close and now it is gone forever.

How will you ever recover from having lost the single biggest game (of that evening)?

2. You Get Upset When Teams Lose You Really Don't Care About

The Trailblazers’ epic loss to the Lakers in 2000 and the recent defeat by the Memphis Tigers in the NCAA Tournament championship game upset me, but honestly why the heck do I care?

Nothing against Portland and Memphis, but 99 percent of the year I really am not a fan of them. I like LSU and the Saints, yet when I watch a game I get into it so much that when the team I am rooting for loses, I get upset.

Yes, I am, indeed, troubled.

1. You are American

I understand Europeans are probably the most intense fans (look at the soccer games), but no nation is more involved in more sports than America.

There’s football, soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey, and that's not even including the college aspect of them. Americans are by far the kings of sports obsession.

Now if I could only find a cure to my disease...