The Phillies Had an Off Day: What a Good Time to Strip Down Jayson Werth

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The Phillies Had an Off Day: What a Good Time to Strip Down Jayson Werth
(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

An off day is a great time to strip down to facts and do some thinking. You know Charlie Manuel was doing that on Monday, and since I have a lot of time on my hands too, you know one thing's for certain: stripping down Phillies has crossed my mind.


Today I’m taking two completely different topics—both of which are popular with some B/R readers—and meshing them together in a way where one actually enhances the other.


No, I'm not talking about porn and food, although that would make for an interesting cooking show.


I'm talking about baseball and literature.


I'm talking about Jayson Werth and the Kama Sutra.


Wait, was I thinking out loud? I'm so sorry. I meant to say Jayson Werth and The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. (Gesh, how embarrassing.)


The Secret is a self-help book intended to describe in detail how to visualize your dreams and manifest your visions. It's a "how to" guide to getting what you want. But it's so much more than hoping what you believe will come true. It's about believing it’s already happening.


You're supposed to stimulate every single cell in your body to feel the realization of your dream in the present moment. You have to live as if you've realized your dream right now in order to manifest its realization in another moment.




Probably. Let me use an example.


Take Jayson Werth.


Please, someone say that to me again.


Take Jayson Werth.


Don’t mind if I do.


Okay, I’m done. Let’s just take him as an example. He's a self-confessed offensive streaker. Trust me, I find nothing offensive about that right fielder streaking, but he's realizing exactly what he believes: that he's always been a streaking slumper.


He reported that he's not concerned with his inability to consistently contribute to the Phil's offense because this is the way he's always been. And Charlie Manuel would warn against saying anything about it because to call attention to a good streak or a bad slump is only acknowledging its existence.


He's right in one respect. A player on a hitting streak respects the streak; he wears the same underwear, abandons shaving, or hums the same song in the warm-up circle. But what if it was more than that? What if it was simply happening because he believed it was?


And what if you believe you'll have streaks and slumps so you do?


Well, Jayson, I think it's about time to believe something else. I think it's about time you believe that you'll consistently get on base. I think it's about time you play the role of the bad boy again by stealing home plate. I think it's about time you stopped playing like you're a one-year contract man with nowhere to go but out. And I think it's about time you thought of all those baseball babes out there who miss seeing you pose on base.


For Pete's sake, Jayson, think of something other than your slump! Think about me!


Sorry, was I thinking out loud again?


I know what you're thinking. What dream have I ever manifested?


You mean dreams that aren't limited by those new stalker laws?


Well, okay, right now I'm working on eliminating that cellulite on my backside.


Is it working?


Let's just say I've convinced every cell but my thighs. Perhaps this is truly something that will remain a dream (or concealed by jeans).


But don't do what I do, do what I say.


And Jayson, I say you can do it.


Go Phils!

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