Separated at Birth: George Bush and Isiah Thomas?

I’m not one for politics, save for the occasional throwdown.  I’ll toss out an opinion here or there when the topic comes up at the dinner table.  I might catch The Daily Show once a week perhaps.  In general, I steer clear of talking about who’s going to get elected or what economic policies will impact the country.

But every so often a political thought jumps into my head and I can't get it out. 

In this his last year at the helm, I can’t help but think George Bush is pulling an Isiah Thomas.  I’m telling you, these guys are so similar, it's eerie.

I apologize to all those Bush and/or Knicks fans if I’ve offended you in any way, but bear with me, I’ve created this whole list-thing (isn’t that what real sport columnists do anyways?) to state my case.

Let me start with the obvious.

1)      The blank stare.

When Isiah coached the Knicks, he would pace a little, sit down, smile, and marinate.  It was as if he was an IBM 360 calculating the 19 millionth digit of Pi, Isiah would just compile all day if he had the time. 

Bush, on the other hand, possesses a more wistful, lonesome stare.  He overloads after a long day.  You can see it on his face.  “Fire that attorney general, veto that bill, memorize that witty repartee with guest…  Hmmm… Tacos, what a great idea that was.  Ground beef ones are the best.”

2)      Job tenure extended after displaying only marginal improvement.

I can’t really say for sure why Bush was re-elected. The alternative was worse, I guess.  Yes, he responded well to 9-11 and should be commended for that.  I ask, though, what’s the legacy here? Iraq? (Yikes) Defense? The economy?

Please let me have it in the comments if I’m missing something.

Isiah appears to have photos of Jim Dolan naked…

With Nazi prostitutes…

While kicking puppies and babies…

Or something similar.  This is the best explanation I have for why this man still (STILL!) has a job.

3)      Mailing in their last year.

Isiah coached Knicks to a 23-59 record despite having the most expensive roster in the NBA.  He was notorious for his 18-minute shoot-arounds with the team.  18 minute shoot-arounds usually result in a body of work that looks like this.

Meanwhile, W has spent his time meeting the Pope at the airport and watching baseball.  A lot.

4) Inappropriate sexual conduct with someone on staff.

Oops.  Wrong Mr. President.

5) Convinced everyone at the time that he knew what he was doing…

I’m guilty of this.  “Hey Stephon Marbury, Eddy Curry, and Zach Randolph.  That might work. If Curry wouldn’t eat so much and Stephon was a tad less crazy.  Yeah that could totally work.”

WMD, people.  Bush said he had proof.  Everyone in Europe saw the same proof and disagreed.  Yet, Congress voted to go ahead with the war in Iraq.  It made sense at the time.  Sort of.

6) … and it turned out to be a disaster.

“Wait. No, it couldn’t.”

I’m not saying the Iraq war hasn’t had some successes.  Certainly, toppling Saddam is a big moment in history, but you can’t argue that the outcome that occurred was exactly what George had in mind.

And finally…

7) Will ultimately end up in cushy job.

Here’s the ironic thing.  For being incompetent, these guys get paid the same (or probably more, in Bush's case) with less responsibility.

What will Isiah do all day?  He’s not allowed to talk to the players, yet he’s still an “integral part” of the Knicks staff.  I mean it’s like he works for the Federal government as a former President or something.  Wait a second…

(Photo courtesy of this website.)