Mid-Week Mindless Vent
After seeing the Kalahari/Bernie Brewer “Splash Pad”, a few things came to mind that I wanted to share: mini-vents, if you will.
First of all, the Kalahari is a WATER park named after a DESERT.
Secondly, the mug isn’t coming back ever again…is it?
I mean this pretty much seals the deal. I guess we’re too afraid of what could happen if families see any more beer in Miller Park…
Finally, since the mug isn’t coming back, I guess neither will the “Tastes Great/Less Filling” chant. Does anyone else remember this chant that was part cheer, part marketing genius?
Mid-Week Fake Headlines
Catalanotto Fights with Graffanino Over Name
Recently, it was reported that Frank Catalanotto ran into Tony Graffanino and they had a heated argument about whose name looks better on the back of a jersey.
“Well, my name has the word ‘cat’ in it so that makes it better,” Frank allegedly said.
“Nuh-uh, that’s why it’s stupid. I am ‘El Nino’ and you can’t beat that with a dumb cat!” rebutted Tony.
Then, according to the report, Doug Mientkiewicz came in and bitch slapped them with his good arm.
Dude is Buying Bobbleheads
The Milwaukee PD wanted to warn the public that some dude will ask to buy your bobblehead for 15 dollars. This dude will then say that he’d give you 20 for a bobblehead with pinstripes.
Dude is known to be a grade A douchebag, proceed with extreme caution.
Has Sportservice Found the Fountain of Youth?
A fan is alleging that the Miller Park concession business, Sportservice, has discovered the fountain of youth.
“Well, that had to!” alleges an unnamed 20-game season ticket holder. “Look at Russel the Beer Guy, look at the girl who has been selling soda for five years and still looks like she’s 15! They spend all summer lugging heavy crap up and down and don’t seem to age!” Sportserivce has not commented on the rumors.